Hi Shiela-
First concern is yourself, to get healthy. There is alcoholics anon. for meetings as a start. Churches, United Way, community health centers, another. I think you need to go to social service community place and ask them to help you get that insurance down. It may take a few hours, but they deal with this all the time and may have some great ideas for help for you.
Another place is Salvation Army Rehab program. They take anyone regardless of ability to pay or not. They rely totally on donations (the bell ringers, black kettle and private donations). It is a great program and will you through rehab, counseling, etc. Not sure if you are retired or still working.
Your son is an adult and he needs to help himself and find his own way to get through his addictions. Yes it's true they have to leave the environment and friends of the drug world or they will be temped and relapse. I would suggest Salvation Army Program for him as well.
The past is the past and you need to focus on now not would have, could have, should have. We as parents have all made mistakes, had our own hangups, issues from our parents, childhood, marriages, etc that affect child raising. But we can't beat ourselves up about it.
One day at a time, do one thing to move forward. Insurance calls, counseling, rehab help. Take care of you for now. Point son in direction of Salvation Army. His choice to go or not.
