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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 463180" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>No, that's just it, its not ultimately about money. exMIL was a teacher when cgfg's mom was in school, and she says her mother is no different now than she was then - unhappy and miserable and does everything she can to make everyone else join her. </p><p></p><p>But you're right, its not about money. not to mom. It will be to me, because I can not afford to just keep piling on expenses for the child, not and take care of my own, as well.</p><p></p><p>Parenting agreement says each parents takes care of what they do on their time, and there is no splitting costs except for emergency medical. husband pays for the expenses on his time. Mom pays for the expenses on her time. Support is to cover those expenses on mom's side. He agreed in their parenting agreement to pay higher than state-calculated support in exchange for not splitting all this kind of stuff. He pays it to the support enforcement, but it goes straight to her on a debit card. Trap shooting falls on her time, although signup night was on our night and cgfg was with us when she registered, but I defaulted entirely to mom, since the practices and most of the shoots are on mom's time. Mom gave the ok for cgfg to sign up. There's really not a lot we can do if mom refuses to pay for the stuff, other than pay for it and take her. I don't know if there's a specific clause that addresses this or not, but I can't imagine a court not allowing a kid to go with her dad and step mom to a school sponsored activity her mom agreed to sign her up for... Mom tried to get us to pay for half of softball the same year I bought the horse, etc, for cgfg to do mounted shooting. I said, uh...no. Unless you'd like to pay for half a horse.... lol She backed off that real quick.</p><p></p><p>I took her shopping for a dress for a wedding on our side. I expected to buy it, no problem. Homecoming, however, is on mom's weekend (next weekend), but she loved this dress and the price was very good ($40 for a semi-formal that looks great on her) so I bought it. Now, mom is refusing to buy her any accessories to go with the dress. I just bought it because she loved it, she needed a dress for homecoming, it was something I'd have bought "my own" kid, and honestly, I just thought it was the right thing to do. To say "nope, can't have that gorgeous, inexpensive dress because your not my kid and that's your MOM'S weekend/problem" just seems so wrong.</p><p></p><p>but no, ultimately, its not about money. Its about preserving myself and resources for my own family while attempting to make the best out of a really crappy situation. And I don't know how to stop the insanity (great line!) without just totally screwing cgfg.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 463180, member: 1848"] No, that's just it, its not ultimately about money. exMIL was a teacher when cgfg's mom was in school, and she says her mother is no different now than she was then - unhappy and miserable and does everything she can to make everyone else join her. But you're right, its not about money. not to mom. It will be to me, because I can not afford to just keep piling on expenses for the child, not and take care of my own, as well. Parenting agreement says each parents takes care of what they do on their time, and there is no splitting costs except for emergency medical. husband pays for the expenses on his time. Mom pays for the expenses on her time. Support is to cover those expenses on mom's side. He agreed in their parenting agreement to pay higher than state-calculated support in exchange for not splitting all this kind of stuff. He pays it to the support enforcement, but it goes straight to her on a debit card. Trap shooting falls on her time, although signup night was on our night and cgfg was with us when she registered, but I defaulted entirely to mom, since the practices and most of the shoots are on mom's time. Mom gave the ok for cgfg to sign up. There's really not a lot we can do if mom refuses to pay for the stuff, other than pay for it and take her. I don't know if there's a specific clause that addresses this or not, but I can't imagine a court not allowing a kid to go with her dad and step mom to a school sponsored activity her mom agreed to sign her up for... Mom tried to get us to pay for half of softball the same year I bought the horse, etc, for cgfg to do mounted shooting. I said, uh...no. Unless you'd like to pay for half a horse.... lol She backed off that real quick. I took her shopping for a dress for a wedding on our side. I expected to buy it, no problem. Homecoming, however, is on mom's weekend (next weekend), but she loved this dress and the price was very good ($40 for a semi-formal that looks great on her) so I bought it. Now, mom is refusing to buy her any accessories to go with the dress. I just bought it because she loved it, she needed a dress for homecoming, it was something I'd have bought "my own" kid, and honestly, I just thought it was the right thing to do. To say "nope, can't have that gorgeous, inexpensive dress because your not my kid and that's your MOM'S weekend/problem" just seems so wrong. but no, ultimately, its not about money. Its about preserving myself and resources for my own family while attempting to make the best out of a really crappy situation. And I don't know how to stop the insanity (great line!) without just totally screwing cgfg. [/QUOTE]
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