Interesting second date

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by klmno, Jul 12, 2009.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    For those who recall the guy I met last week, I did try to pull back a little after we met and I continued to email, albeit less, and tell him that I might have to move due to finding work and that I didn't want him to feel pressured so it was ok to approach this as friends, and as a matter of fact, I felt we should take things slow. Now, he hasn't been the pushy type at all but did tell me that this was ok, but he would enjoy taking me out on a nicer date.

    So, tonight we met for a drink before a nice dinner, then we went to a typical place for another drink and to talk after dinner. An unexpected horrible storm blew over us. All power was off- there weren't even emergency lights in the place (which is illegal)- and we saw the transformer out front blow up. I didn't want to ask him to my place because it was only our second time meeting and my house is in no shape for company. The poor guy has to drive over an hour to get home- I feel so bad for him. What's worse is that after I checked the weather report a few minutes ago, I found that the storm is moving in the direction he is traveling.

    I feel horrible about not asking him to my house, but I simply don't know him well enough. We still haven't traded home phone numbers or last names. I did asked him to email me when he got home to let me know he made it safely. And tomorrow, he has to drive back to this area to go to work. I feel so guilty!
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Naw, don't feel guilty. He'd have gotten the wrong impression had you asked him to your place so soon anyway. Even a nice guy would. You did the right and safe thing.

    Hoovers though that a perfectly nice time was ruined by a storm.

  3. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Klmno, I think you did the right thing too. No need to feel guilty.
    You've just met, you don't even have last names or home phone numbers, and you just finished telling him that you want to go very slowly and start out as friends. If you asked him to stay over after that, you'd be sending some pretty serious mixed messages.

    I think asking him to e-mail and let you know he arrived safely was a nice touch. Shows caring without compromising either your safety or your self-respect.

    Glad that you had a nice time on your 2nd date, and sorry that the storm messed things up.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh- I didn't even think about asking him to spend the night. I just meant that maybe (if I'd known him better) I'd ask him to come to my house until the storm blew over- or at least to check the weather report so he'd know what he was facing driving home. But, I can see how even that could give the wrong impression to someone a I barely know. Not to mention, it's not necessarily safe.
  5. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    No quilt---You did the right thing. It takes a long time to really get to know someone---especially when you are starting from scratch. Most of the time when you date someone/see someone you've met through friends or work or some social event. You know people who know them, so you can ask questions. This is quite different and you are taking the right approach.
  6. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    He is an adult who can take care of himself. He should be able to turn on a local radio station while traveling to stay alert of where the weather is. Since he travels to and from for work everyday, he should already have a plan on how bad it will get before he gets a hotel room.
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    He just emailed- finally. He said he had to drive thru bad weather but made it ok. Thanks, Ladies- I was just worried that he would have an accident.
  8. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member

    I think you showed good judgment, and you were consistent with what you told him about taking things slowly. Way To Go!

    So other than the storm, how was the date?
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Glad he made it home safely. :)

    Hope the 3rd time you get together is much more successful.
  10. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Strictly from a safety point of view, I wouldn't invite him home.
    I understand completely your discomfort of basically pushing him out in the storm to drive an hour. It's not the most thoughtful thing to happen but bringing anyone home that you barely know is foolish.
    Too bad there wasn't something nearby that was public,like a mall, that the both of you could have hung out until the weather improved.
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thanks again! Fran, we were near the mall- unfortunately, it lost power, too! There were other nearby places that had power but he was concerned about staying "out", so I think it all worked out for the best- now that I know he's safe. I would have felt horrible though if I'd read about an accident this morning and found out it was him.

    The rest of the date was very nice. We are just getting to know each other so are learning what topics we can talk about that interest both of us. I think we are noticing that I'm not thrilled to hear much about his work and he's not thrilled to hear much about difficult child. Not that we don't want to talk at all about these things, just not a lot. I think this comes with not being in a relationship for a while and having our lives being consumed by these things, Know what I mean?? So, it's probably good to have someone around sometimes that makes us think and talk about something else a while.

    Now, I'm gettiung ready to start a thread on General about another issue I just got handed.