Hi,
{disclaimer: We're from Argentina, speak Spanish and some special terms I don't really know how to say in English}
My 7-years old difficult child was just prescribed Risperdal, and while I was researching online about the drug I came to this site.
The P-DR that prescribed it did not gave us an actual diagnosis, but she did "mention" "Conduct Disorder". I looked that up and I now I'm in Panic mode: my first reaction was to think that he does not have those symptoms, nor even ODD, but on second thought I'm not so sure.
So I thought about posting here a bit about our situation.
The problems started at about age 3, in kinder. At the time, the major issue was that he couldn't stay sit, or follow the teachers indication. He also started to show problems serious with authority (i.e. not doing what the caregiver told him to do, or not do). In kinder 4, we started having kind of regular school meetings where they complained about him, and in kinder 5, when he was supposed to go to first grade of primary school next year, they "invited us" to transfer him to another school and suggested we keep him at kinder for another year.
We did so but on a different kindergarden.
Now he is finally at first grade on school (though one year later, he is 7), but the problems only got worse.
Even though this (new) school is very very understanding and cooperative, we still have regular meetings when we try to figure out what to do. This school has a "double shift": morning and afternoon, but he is going only in the morning. The school year is about to end (we have summer holidays from Dec to Feb here in the south hemisphere), and even though he was able to learn a couple of things, such as *almost* reading and writing, he is quite behind the rest of the class.
School says that the major problem is, again, that he shows little respect for authority (i.e. the Teacher), so the teacher, which is SUPER sweet, must constantly engage with him one-on-one and very tenderly in order to get him to do just about everything. While she always succeeds, she just can't keep doing that, so for next year we already arranged that he while have a special personal "side teacher" inside the class (in Argentina, and in Spanish, this is call a "maestra integradora")
From age 4 we tried just about anything: been to psychologists, psychiatrists, "educational psychologists" ("psicopedagogo" in Spanish), neurologists, language-speech therapist ("fonoaudiólogo" in Spanish), even to a "psycho motor teraphist". And reason for such a tour is that he was (and I guess still is) "diagnose" just about every behavioral problem, depending on who you asked. But we never felt confident (specially because nothing changed) so we kept on searching.
The only thing that everyone told us, and which we agreed on, is that is our (parents) fault (we argue too much and too loud in the house, we don't draw limits properly, and a couple of other parental mistakes). So my wife and I had been seeing our own "parenting therapist".
On top of that we have a daughter, age 8.5, with her own behavioral issues, but that's another story.
Going back to our difficult child:
Currently, he is being "treated" by a team composed of a psychologist, a psychiatrists and a "educational psychologists".
School needs the "side teacher" I mentioned above, and the P-DR just prescribed the Risperdal. He is supposed to start taking it tonight, 0.25mg a day.
Reading about the drug makes me quite uneasy, but, on the other hand, the 3 doctors in that team, plus his pediatrician, agrees with the medication.
But the thing that really scared me is the P-DR "mentioning" that he has "A" conduct disorder. I put it like that because she said it like that, as if she wasn't formally naming it as a diagnosis. Or maybe she did (we'll see her again next week)
Reading about CD (and so about ODD), I wouldn't think he has that, but maybe is because he is still very young?
Here is my own assessment of the symptoms that would make him ODD/CD.
He most definitely has no respect for authority. That's crystal clear. My wife has a (so far) very mild Multiple Sclerosis so I work from home and we have a maid/nanny. Being all day here, I can see how he just doesn't, at all, listen to the maid/nanny when she tells him to do something, and recently he started to give her orders or say things like "you don't tell me what to do". That in spite of the fact that we explained several times to him that she is the adult taking care of him. With my wife the story is similar: she would just keep telling him to do something, or to stop doing something, but, since she can't and wouldn't get physical, he just ignores her or argue back that he wants to do it anyway, etc..
With me the situation is just the opposite: I lose my temper the moment he defies me (or another adult in charge), so I end up shouting and usually grabbing him by the arm quite roughly for a 7-year old child. In the past I used to give him one, sometimes two, slaps in the shoulder or back of the head whenever he confronted me opposing a direct order, and although I regarded that as "nothing" (I was raised where worst than that), after all the parental therapy I decided not to do that anymore (though sometimes I loose it again). But I do still shout at him, noticeably angry, whenever he defies me, and I just can't (yet at least) picture that going soft in that case is the right thing to do.
From about a year or so ago, he use to steal from us, even money. We where told that this is "normal" and is his way to as for what he thinks he deserves, such as taking money to school to buy himself something in the break, like the other kids do.
Whenever he is confronted with something bad he did, he almost always and consistently lie about it, or blame his sister.
While we don't think he would do it on purpose, he doesn't seem to care about property in the sense that he would break or tear apart something if for instance he wants to see what it is made for. Or he is playing say kung-fu he would end up kicking his sister, or our dog, or the furniture, and show no remorse if they get hurt or something ends up broken.
We were also told that this is normal, but on the other hand, at age 7, I would expect him to had develop some sense of respect for things.
He is very tender and shows (and verbalizes) love for our dog, yet at the same time, if he ends up kicking her (he's playing kung-fu all day by the way) or throwing something that ends up hitting her, he shows no signs of remorse, not even when we talk to him about it.
Now, on the other hand
What goes completely astray with my understanding of ODD/CD is that, in spite of all of the above, he is sweet as a honeypot. I mean, seriously and to the extent that, with few exceptions, most adults will not get to get angry with him despite of this lack of respect.
Also, he, like no one I ever met, is *constantly* and *explicitly* telling us (his family), the nanny, the teacher and his kid friend how much he love us, etc... he is very verbal about his feelings, and he is also very physically attached to the caring adult in turn. For example, he spend most of the time sitting on the lap of the school teacher, or he is most of the day around the nanny and asking her to play with him (whenever my wife is resting on bed or out)
*That* feels to me like totally contrary to the type of personality I picture from a kid with CD/ODD, but maybe that's entirely wrong?
Well, that's it.
TIA
{disclaimer: We're from Argentina, speak Spanish and some special terms I don't really know how to say in English}
My 7-years old difficult child was just prescribed Risperdal, and while I was researching online about the drug I came to this site.
The P-DR that prescribed it did not gave us an actual diagnosis, but she did "mention" "Conduct Disorder". I looked that up and I now I'm in Panic mode: my first reaction was to think that he does not have those symptoms, nor even ODD, but on second thought I'm not so sure.
So I thought about posting here a bit about our situation.
The problems started at about age 3, in kinder. At the time, the major issue was that he couldn't stay sit, or follow the teachers indication. He also started to show problems serious with authority (i.e. not doing what the caregiver told him to do, or not do). In kinder 4, we started having kind of regular school meetings where they complained about him, and in kinder 5, when he was supposed to go to first grade of primary school next year, they "invited us" to transfer him to another school and suggested we keep him at kinder for another year.
We did so but on a different kindergarden.
Now he is finally at first grade on school (though one year later, he is 7), but the problems only got worse.
Even though this (new) school is very very understanding and cooperative, we still have regular meetings when we try to figure out what to do. This school has a "double shift": morning and afternoon, but he is going only in the morning. The school year is about to end (we have summer holidays from Dec to Feb here in the south hemisphere), and even though he was able to learn a couple of things, such as *almost* reading and writing, he is quite behind the rest of the class.
School says that the major problem is, again, that he shows little respect for authority (i.e. the Teacher), so the teacher, which is SUPER sweet, must constantly engage with him one-on-one and very tenderly in order to get him to do just about everything. While she always succeeds, she just can't keep doing that, so for next year we already arranged that he while have a special personal "side teacher" inside the class (in Argentina, and in Spanish, this is call a "maestra integradora")
From age 4 we tried just about anything: been to psychologists, psychiatrists, "educational psychologists" ("psicopedagogo" in Spanish), neurologists, language-speech therapist ("fonoaudiólogo" in Spanish), even to a "psycho motor teraphist". And reason for such a tour is that he was (and I guess still is) "diagnose" just about every behavioral problem, depending on who you asked. But we never felt confident (specially because nothing changed) so we kept on searching.
The only thing that everyone told us, and which we agreed on, is that is our (parents) fault (we argue too much and too loud in the house, we don't draw limits properly, and a couple of other parental mistakes). So my wife and I had been seeing our own "parenting therapist".
On top of that we have a daughter, age 8.5, with her own behavioral issues, but that's another story.
Going back to our difficult child:
Currently, he is being "treated" by a team composed of a psychologist, a psychiatrists and a "educational psychologists".
School needs the "side teacher" I mentioned above, and the P-DR just prescribed the Risperdal. He is supposed to start taking it tonight, 0.25mg a day.
Reading about the drug makes me quite uneasy, but, on the other hand, the 3 doctors in that team, plus his pediatrician, agrees with the medication.
But the thing that really scared me is the P-DR "mentioning" that he has "A" conduct disorder. I put it like that because she said it like that, as if she wasn't formally naming it as a diagnosis. Or maybe she did (we'll see her again next week)
Reading about CD (and so about ODD), I wouldn't think he has that, but maybe is because he is still very young?
Here is my own assessment of the symptoms that would make him ODD/CD.
He most definitely has no respect for authority. That's crystal clear. My wife has a (so far) very mild Multiple Sclerosis so I work from home and we have a maid/nanny. Being all day here, I can see how he just doesn't, at all, listen to the maid/nanny when she tells him to do something, and recently he started to give her orders or say things like "you don't tell me what to do". That in spite of the fact that we explained several times to him that she is the adult taking care of him. With my wife the story is similar: she would just keep telling him to do something, or to stop doing something, but, since she can't and wouldn't get physical, he just ignores her or argue back that he wants to do it anyway, etc..
With me the situation is just the opposite: I lose my temper the moment he defies me (or another adult in charge), so I end up shouting and usually grabbing him by the arm quite roughly for a 7-year old child. In the past I used to give him one, sometimes two, slaps in the shoulder or back of the head whenever he confronted me opposing a direct order, and although I regarded that as "nothing" (I was raised where worst than that), after all the parental therapy I decided not to do that anymore (though sometimes I loose it again). But I do still shout at him, noticeably angry, whenever he defies me, and I just can't (yet at least) picture that going soft in that case is the right thing to do.
From about a year or so ago, he use to steal from us, even money. We where told that this is "normal" and is his way to as for what he thinks he deserves, such as taking money to school to buy himself something in the break, like the other kids do.
Whenever he is confronted with something bad he did, he almost always and consistently lie about it, or blame his sister.
While we don't think he would do it on purpose, he doesn't seem to care about property in the sense that he would break or tear apart something if for instance he wants to see what it is made for. Or he is playing say kung-fu he would end up kicking his sister, or our dog, or the furniture, and show no remorse if they get hurt or something ends up broken.
We were also told that this is normal, but on the other hand, at age 7, I would expect him to had develop some sense of respect for things.
He is very tender and shows (and verbalizes) love for our dog, yet at the same time, if he ends up kicking her (he's playing kung-fu all day by the way) or throwing something that ends up hitting her, he shows no signs of remorse, not even when we talk to him about it.
Now, on the other hand
What goes completely astray with my understanding of ODD/CD is that, in spite of all of the above, he is sweet as a honeypot. I mean, seriously and to the extent that, with few exceptions, most adults will not get to get angry with him despite of this lack of respect.
Also, he, like no one I ever met, is *constantly* and *explicitly* telling us (his family), the nanny, the teacher and his kid friend how much he love us, etc... he is very verbal about his feelings, and he is also very physically attached to the caring adult in turn. For example, he spend most of the time sitting on the lap of the school teacher, or he is most of the day around the nanny and asking her to play with him (whenever my wife is resting on bed or out)
*That* feels to me like totally contrary to the type of personality I picture from a kid with CD/ODD, but maybe that's entirely wrong?
Well, that's it.
TIA
