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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 556728" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Me too mwm! Look, when there are challenging parenting issues and when kids who are differently wired do not respond in typical ways, do we make some big parenting mistakes? Sure. But generally, at least mho here, if a child shows appropriate love and care in general there is probably something else going on. Do better parenting skills help things, naturally but many of us here have kids who do not respond to the usual parenting methods. There are subtle learning issues that can dramatically affect a childs skills including following directions. They sometimes don't learn the social communication rules that allow us to talk one way to friends and another way to authority figures. There can be many many reasons for this. </p><p></p><p> Why did the one place think Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and why did.the other say not? Could you describe the symptoms they saw? </p><p></p><p>A couple of books that have helped many of us include The Explosive Child by Ross Green and What Your explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You by Doug Riley. Both are online and I'm not sure if they're in Spanish but your English is great so it could be worth looking into. Really different perspective and solid ideas for working on things. </p><p></p><p>My son has times (many ) where he shows zero respect too....I have been called names for years. He has improved and much of that is because we had to help him use a different tone and different words. He needed direct, specific instructions about how to say things. He still needs prompting about what to say in many settings. </p><p></p><p>At your difficult child's age...there could be many reasons for his lack of appropriate skills ....adhd, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/autism spectrum, Learning Disability (LD), auditory processing and or.language processing problems, motor challenges (may be subtle and more processing issues rather than coordination again ) emotional or mental health (like childhood bipolar ) kinds of challenges. And I would assume he is doing his best with what he has until you are sure it's otherwise. The way you may have to figure that out is through lots of taking a step back..... and things like giving a direction to clean up (which you'd think he could do ) could be ...let's be a team and pick up your room together ...maybe you pick up one toy then him etc....don't give a chance to have him be overwhelmed because you are there supporting. May even need to do only a few toys at first to build success (just an example ....I'm just saying break it down and build in success to start to increase self esteem and skills) . </p><p></p><p>If this doesnt apply no worries. But please know you are heard and most of us know how hard it is to have challenging children! To say the least. Smile.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 556728, member: 12886"] Me too mwm! Look, when there are challenging parenting issues and when kids who are differently wired do not respond in typical ways, do we make some big parenting mistakes? Sure. But generally, at least mho here, if a child shows appropriate love and care in general there is probably something else going on. Do better parenting skills help things, naturally but many of us here have kids who do not respond to the usual parenting methods. There are subtle learning issues that can dramatically affect a childs skills including following directions. They sometimes don't learn the social communication rules that allow us to talk one way to friends and another way to authority figures. There can be many many reasons for this. Why did the one place think Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and why did.the other say not? Could you describe the symptoms they saw? A couple of books that have helped many of us include The Explosive Child by Ross Green and What Your explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You by Doug Riley. Both are online and I'm not sure if they're in Spanish but your English is great so it could be worth looking into. Really different perspective and solid ideas for working on things. My son has times (many ) where he shows zero respect too....I have been called names for years. He has improved and much of that is because we had to help him use a different tone and different words. He needed direct, specific instructions about how to say things. He still needs prompting about what to say in many settings. At your difficult child's age...there could be many reasons for his lack of appropriate skills ....adhd, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/autism spectrum, Learning Disability (LD), auditory processing and or.language processing problems, motor challenges (may be subtle and more processing issues rather than coordination again ) emotional or mental health (like childhood bipolar ) kinds of challenges. And I would assume he is doing his best with what he has until you are sure it's otherwise. The way you may have to figure that out is through lots of taking a step back..... and things like giving a direction to clean up (which you'd think he could do ) could be ...let's be a team and pick up your room together ...maybe you pick up one toy then him etc....don't give a chance to have him be overwhelmed because you are there supporting. May even need to do only a few toys at first to build success (just an example ....I'm just saying break it down and build in success to start to increase self esteem and skills) . If this doesnt apply no worries. But please know you are heard and most of us know how hard it is to have challenging children! To say the least. Smile. [/QUOTE]
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