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<blockquote data-quote="FLC" data-source="post: 556735" data-attributes="member: 15371"><p>OK, is a relief you believe that because I bounce all the time between thinking the same and, well, "accepting" what most everyone seems to think is the case.</p><p>My wife on the other hand, is 100% convinced that is our fault. To the point that she feels constantly guilty and frustrated. I keep telling he that, ironically, if that is in fact true then we're screwed, because the guilt and frustration only leads to more fights, and way less capacity to cope with the problem in a way that could help him.</p><p></p><p>on the other hand, I follow my own advice and don't argue about it anymore. In fact, she decided that we, that is explicitly both of us, should see a psychiatric. Her thinking is that if our son needs to take a psychiatric medication then we should as well, and first. I think that it just won't happen (a P-DR medicating us) so I won't argue and go.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>Initially, when he was 4, we thought that he had a cognitive problem. In fact I was quite worried about it because it looked as if he where unable to even understand what you said. So, started seeing "brain doctors" and the like. But they run all sort of brain function and cognitive test and he passed them all. In fact, he turned out to have the IQ of a 6-year old. One-on-one against the doctor, he would learn just about everything that was asked. So they concluded that the problem was of an "emotional nature" and told us to move to behavioral diagnosis. The "theory" was that he can learn if he wanted, but in practice he just doesn't care at all, so he doesn't learn.</p><p>For example, to this day, he can't recall the name of things, like the names of his friends. And for the most time he didn't remember the name of his teacher. And he only learned the name of the colors this year (at age 7). So we thought he had a memory problem, but the neurologist that run the test said that he doesn't, he just doesn't care for, say, the name of a color or a friend.</p><p></p><p>I'm not so sure about that though. While I do agree that he must be engaged into whatever a teacher is trying to teach him, and it might be very difficult for him to do so, I'm not sure the reason he can't is because he doesn't care, maybe he really cannot connect, as oppose to not wanting to.</p><p></p><p>Also, I'm not so sure about his memory being fully functional. I often make the test myself to tell him something, say the name of a book or a song, then talk about something else for about 10 or 15 seconds, then I asked what the name was and he has no clue. And similar experiments which all seems to indicate that he has no, or very limited, "working memory"</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Learning Disability (LD) was indeed our first guess. And while I'm not convinced it's ruled out, currently, the "educational psycologist" (that's the English translation I've found for "pscipedagoga" but is a professional that deals specifically with Learning Disability (LD)), says he has the proper tools to learn but there are "behavioral/emotional" factors that prevent him from doing so.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Well, actually, I totally agreed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). But my wife was totally against it since day one of the initial diagnosis.</p><p>on the other hand, every professional we consulted with also said he is not Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). The P-DR just said so yesterday.</p><p></p><p>My layman opinion is that he just doesn't fit anything on the DSM but because of the degree of the problem. The people that say he is not Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) argue that they treat children with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and he is nothing like it. But, if I consider the symptoms point by point, I can see a trace of each one of them.</p><p>But I'm not a doctor or anything like it, just a parent with internet <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, and like I said that's where we started. Of course they might be wrong. AFAIK they run a batch of standard test and some measurements (like EEG), then said it wasn't a cognitive problem.</p><p></p><p>on the other hand, from my experience, and it might be a characteristic of this country, there is a high tendency to take everything to the "analyst". My mom has Rheumatiod arthritis and for several years, before the disease was "visible", every doctor (lots of them) just sent her to the psychologist because they kept "diagnosing" that the reason she felt pain and was tired was due to depression or some such.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="FLC, post: 556735, member: 15371"] OK, is a relief you believe that because I bounce all the time between thinking the same and, well, "accepting" what most everyone seems to think is the case. My wife on the other hand, is 100% convinced that is our fault. To the point that she feels constantly guilty and frustrated. I keep telling he that, ironically, if that is in fact true then we're screwed, because the guilt and frustration only leads to more fights, and way less capacity to cope with the problem in a way that could help him. on the other hand, I follow my own advice and don't argue about it anymore. In fact, she decided that we, that is explicitly both of us, should see a psychiatric. Her thinking is that if our son needs to take a psychiatric medication then we should as well, and first. I think that it just won't happen (a P-DR medicating us) so I won't argue and go. Initially, when he was 4, we thought that he had a cognitive problem. In fact I was quite worried about it because it looked as if he where unable to even understand what you said. So, started seeing "brain doctors" and the like. But they run all sort of brain function and cognitive test and he passed them all. In fact, he turned out to have the IQ of a 6-year old. One-on-one against the doctor, he would learn just about everything that was asked. So they concluded that the problem was of an "emotional nature" and told us to move to behavioral diagnosis. The "theory" was that he can learn if he wanted, but in practice he just doesn't care at all, so he doesn't learn. For example, to this day, he can't recall the name of things, like the names of his friends. And for the most time he didn't remember the name of his teacher. And he only learned the name of the colors this year (at age 7). So we thought he had a memory problem, but the neurologist that run the test said that he doesn't, he just doesn't care for, say, the name of a color or a friend. I'm not so sure about that though. While I do agree that he must be engaged into whatever a teacher is trying to teach him, and it might be very difficult for him to do so, I'm not sure the reason he can't is because he doesn't care, maybe he really cannot connect, as oppose to not wanting to. Also, I'm not so sure about his memory being fully functional. I often make the test myself to tell him something, say the name of a book or a song, then talk about something else for about 10 or 15 seconds, then I asked what the name was and he has no clue. And similar experiments which all seems to indicate that he has no, or very limited, "working memory" Learning Disability (LD) was indeed our first guess. And while I'm not convinced it's ruled out, currently, the "educational psycologist" (that's the English translation I've found for "pscipedagoga" but is a professional that deals specifically with Learning Disability (LD)), says he has the proper tools to learn but there are "behavioral/emotional" factors that prevent him from doing so. Well, actually, I totally agreed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). But my wife was totally against it since day one of the initial diagnosis. on the other hand, every professional we consulted with also said he is not Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). The P-DR just said so yesterday. My layman opinion is that he just doesn't fit anything on the DSM but because of the degree of the problem. The people that say he is not Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) argue that they treat children with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and he is nothing like it. But, if I consider the symptoms point by point, I can see a trace of each one of them. But I'm not a doctor or anything like it, just a parent with internet :) Yes, and like I said that's where we started. Of course they might be wrong. AFAIK they run a batch of standard test and some measurements (like EEG), then said it wasn't a cognitive problem. on the other hand, from my experience, and it might be a characteristic of this country, there is a high tendency to take everything to the "analyst". My mom has Rheumatiod arthritis and for several years, before the disease was "visible", every doctor (lots of them) just sent her to the psychologist because they kept "diagnosing" that the reason she felt pain and was tired was due to depression or some such. [/QUOTE]
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