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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 557066" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Hello and welcome to another foreigner <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Your English is fantastic, by the way, especially for someone not living in an English-speaking country.</p><p></p><p>I think your post and the responses perfectly illustrate the strength of a forum like this... you are getting some very useful perspective and "leads" outside of the ones you have been given. They may not all be accurate, of course, but they are allowing you to think of the problem from a wider viewpoint. You can take what seems relevant and disregard what does not. To be honest, from my perspective your son doesn't sound so bad <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Certainly not like he has this notorious "Conduct Disorder" so I should really throw that one out of the window! I agree that the lack of empathy with people and animals at times is concerning, however. </p><p></p><p>In essence, from what you say it sounds like there are two main components to the difficulties: that he is oppositional and defiant at times (as well as also being very sweet and affectionate and, yes, personally I completely understand that contradictory combination!) and that he has learning difficulties that seemed to be centred around working memory difficulties. </p><p></p><p>The former problem can indeed be affected by parenting techniques, I think. NOT because any of this is your combined fault or has somehow been created by you but because these children are extremely difficult and challenging to deal with and the whole normal parenting route has to be jettisoned in favour of learning what actually works with them. As has been said, The Explosive Child by Ross Greene would be useful reading for you, as would (I think) reading online about techniques used with ADHD kids (whether or not your son is) - positive reinforcement rather than punishment, primarily. Oh, I understand the desire to slap on the head all too well, alas.... The provocation and opposition can be SO aggravating. In that sense, a clear diagnosis helps, I think, in giving more patience, understanding and clear techniques.</p><p></p><p>For the learning difficulties, yes, I would have thought a neuro psychologist would be a good beginning. Argentina sounds like it is very well served in terms of services and professionals <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> A bit better than France... My son also has these kind of working memory problems, which always surprises me because he has such a phenonemonal memory and observation/perception in other ways. Like your son, he is also bright, so the challenge with these children is helping them realise their potential.</p><p></p><p>Good luck, keep reading, thinking and researching. You're definitely on the right track!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 557066, member: 11227"] Hello and welcome to another foreigner :) Your English is fantastic, by the way, especially for someone not living in an English-speaking country. I think your post and the responses perfectly illustrate the strength of a forum like this... you are getting some very useful perspective and "leads" outside of the ones you have been given. They may not all be accurate, of course, but they are allowing you to think of the problem from a wider viewpoint. You can take what seems relevant and disregard what does not. To be honest, from my perspective your son doesn't sound so bad :) Certainly not like he has this notorious "Conduct Disorder" so I should really throw that one out of the window! I agree that the lack of empathy with people and animals at times is concerning, however. In essence, from what you say it sounds like there are two main components to the difficulties: that he is oppositional and defiant at times (as well as also being very sweet and affectionate and, yes, personally I completely understand that contradictory combination!) and that he has learning difficulties that seemed to be centred around working memory difficulties. The former problem can indeed be affected by parenting techniques, I think. NOT because any of this is your combined fault or has somehow been created by you but because these children are extremely difficult and challenging to deal with and the whole normal parenting route has to be jettisoned in favour of learning what actually works with them. As has been said, The Explosive Child by Ross Greene would be useful reading for you, as would (I think) reading online about techniques used with ADHD kids (whether or not your son is) - positive reinforcement rather than punishment, primarily. Oh, I understand the desire to slap on the head all too well, alas.... The provocation and opposition can be SO aggravating. In that sense, a clear diagnosis helps, I think, in giving more patience, understanding and clear techniques. For the learning difficulties, yes, I would have thought a neuro psychologist would be a good beginning. Argentina sounds like it is very well served in terms of services and professionals :) A bit better than France... My son also has these kind of working memory problems, which always surprises me because he has such a phenonemonal memory and observation/perception in other ways. Like your son, he is also bright, so the challenge with these children is helping them realise their potential. Good luck, keep reading, thinking and researching. You're definitely on the right track! [/QUOTE]
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