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General Parenting
Introduction and vent about my 3-year-old daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 469734" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hi! Wow I am so glad you found us. I found this board on a similar, I was totally spent, day. Sometimes from my difficult child, sometimes from the school system or just stupid people who dont help things along when we are in public. </p><p></p><p>I remember when my difficult child was younger, as goals were made for his IEP in school I would say to people even when he was in Early Childhood Sp. Ed. .... You know, if he never really learns to read or do math, that will be okay with me, BUT I really want him to smile and be happy. He was nearly always straight faced or crabby. I'd hear my neices or nephews singing in the bath tub or giggling as they played and felt so awful for my little guy. Now he does have those times and they are precious. He still has a base personality that is pretty grumpy but he finds things funny, sometimes gets too silly like a preschooler (he is 14), and other times just can be pleasant and I'll take t hat!</p><p></p><p>Sounds like you are just at the beginning of your road, given that she has motor delays it is probably not huge leap to say there could be other neurological issues. They may be just subtle enough that they are hard to diagnose by someone who sees children in a stress situation like a doctors office. To diagnose anything they really have to do a full evaluation with questionaires and standard protocols that look at how a child interacts and uses information around them. Looking for a child development evaluation center (a childrens hospital or university clinics or private companies that specialize in developmental conditions in children) can provide you access to neuropsychologists, or other psychologists who specialize in developmental diagnoses, Occupational Therapist (OT)'s, speech lang folks , and they would probably just consult with your physical therapists since they already have good info. I would not ask a dr. if he thinks you need the evaluation, just say you want it. One thing that is for sure, though no one can guarantee a child will improve, there is way too much evidence that the earlier you can start therapy, the better. so better to see IF there is another issue. From your post, it sounds like your mommy instinct is saying there is another something going on. Those sensory issues may be still bothering her but at a different level on the heirarchy. Interesting she imitates your friend...is it a copy kind of thing or does she create her own story lines? She sounds like she gets really overwhelmed easily. </p><p></p><p>For what it is worth, this just popped into my head as I read your post. It may not hit her issue at all but......I have worked with kids who's parents take pictures of the different things they may do during the day (online pics that represent the activities like clothes for getting dressed, a toilet for using the bathoom, a car or van for going on a trip, pictures of family or friends etc.) anyway...they use these pictures to make a schedule. You can put them on those clip key rings and can flip them over before the next activity....so could show her the picture of your friend, then what are going to do with her (snack) then wave bye to friend, then tub for bath time.. Some go thru the whole schedule for the day first to let them know abou tthe day, some wait and just show the picture of the upcoming thing. Just in case some of the meltdown is not being clear about what is going on and will she need to go with someone else etc. She may just have a lot of anxiety over separation as well as not being able to figure out what will happen next. We use this kind of schedule with kids iwth adhd, austism, genetic disabilities, etc. in early childhood sp. ed. and it seems to really help some of them to calm. ( I remember one kid who was about 80 lbs and age FOUR! he would flop down on the floor and people woudl pull on his arm to get him to come join them-not mean but you know, like come on X lets go get a drink--and I started this...I would go up to him and for example I put a picture of a water fountain in front of him and say, we are going to get water. He just took the picture, stood up and started walking...usually dropping the picture half way there, smile) Just an idea. Over the years you will get many ideas, some may work, some may not. IF this does help her, you can laminate frequently used pics so you can put them in your purse etc. I used to print out a one page schedule when my son was older, with a small picture and a word or a few words, for a schedule and it included expectations/rules on it so my son had a visual to use to keep him on track. We dont do that much now but I probably should sometimes! </p><p></p><p>Glad you are here. Those long days are draining so go easy on yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 469734, member: 12886"] Hi! Wow I am so glad you found us. I found this board on a similar, I was totally spent, day. Sometimes from my difficult child, sometimes from the school system or just stupid people who dont help things along when we are in public. I remember when my difficult child was younger, as goals were made for his IEP in school I would say to people even when he was in Early Childhood Sp. Ed. .... You know, if he never really learns to read or do math, that will be okay with me, BUT I really want him to smile and be happy. He was nearly always straight faced or crabby. I'd hear my neices or nephews singing in the bath tub or giggling as they played and felt so awful for my little guy. Now he does have those times and they are precious. He still has a base personality that is pretty grumpy but he finds things funny, sometimes gets too silly like a preschooler (he is 14), and other times just can be pleasant and I'll take t hat! Sounds like you are just at the beginning of your road, given that she has motor delays it is probably not huge leap to say there could be other neurological issues. They may be just subtle enough that they are hard to diagnose by someone who sees children in a stress situation like a doctors office. To diagnose anything they really have to do a full evaluation with questionaires and standard protocols that look at how a child interacts and uses information around them. Looking for a child development evaluation center (a childrens hospital or university clinics or private companies that specialize in developmental conditions in children) can provide you access to neuropsychologists, or other psychologists who specialize in developmental diagnoses, Occupational Therapist (OT)'s, speech lang folks , and they would probably just consult with your physical therapists since they already have good info. I would not ask a dr. if he thinks you need the evaluation, just say you want it. One thing that is for sure, though no one can guarantee a child will improve, there is way too much evidence that the earlier you can start therapy, the better. so better to see IF there is another issue. From your post, it sounds like your mommy instinct is saying there is another something going on. Those sensory issues may be still bothering her but at a different level on the heirarchy. Interesting she imitates your friend...is it a copy kind of thing or does she create her own story lines? She sounds like she gets really overwhelmed easily. For what it is worth, this just popped into my head as I read your post. It may not hit her issue at all but......I have worked with kids who's parents take pictures of the different things they may do during the day (online pics that represent the activities like clothes for getting dressed, a toilet for using the bathoom, a car or van for going on a trip, pictures of family or friends etc.) anyway...they use these pictures to make a schedule. You can put them on those clip key rings and can flip them over before the next activity....so could show her the picture of your friend, then what are going to do with her (snack) then wave bye to friend, then tub for bath time.. Some go thru the whole schedule for the day first to let them know abou tthe day, some wait and just show the picture of the upcoming thing. Just in case some of the meltdown is not being clear about what is going on and will she need to go with someone else etc. She may just have a lot of anxiety over separation as well as not being able to figure out what will happen next. We use this kind of schedule with kids iwth adhd, austism, genetic disabilities, etc. in early childhood sp. ed. and it seems to really help some of them to calm. ( I remember one kid who was about 80 lbs and age FOUR! he would flop down on the floor and people woudl pull on his arm to get him to come join them-not mean but you know, like come on X lets go get a drink--and I started this...I would go up to him and for example I put a picture of a water fountain in front of him and say, we are going to get water. He just took the picture, stood up and started walking...usually dropping the picture half way there, smile) Just an idea. Over the years you will get many ideas, some may work, some may not. IF this does help her, you can laminate frequently used pics so you can put them in your purse etc. I used to print out a one page schedule when my son was older, with a small picture and a word or a few words, for a schedule and it included expectations/rules on it so my son had a visual to use to keep him on track. We dont do that much now but I probably should sometimes! Glad you are here. Those long days are draining so go easy on yourself. [/QUOTE]
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