I was where you are now just two months ago. I think I was finally able to get in home services because when I called for help I told them I had already chosen the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for my son and I was literally crying out for help. Also, when CPS was called on us we happened to get a great worker and she pushed things along for us. We only had the in home services for two months and then an opening came up at the place I had chosen for my son. We were also told we had to do the full eight months before anyone would agree to send him away. Things were so bad here that we went ahead and sent him before we had funding. I was willing to sell my home to pay for his Residential Treatment Center (RTC). The place I choose was willing to take him for a lot less money than most places.
I guess my point is, start finding a place for her now. Some of them have waiting lists and it is hard to find a good match for your child. My son had no criminal charges and no drug use so that eliminated a lot of places. I had to find a place that specialized in kids with severe emotional problems. If you find the perfect place and an opening comes up for her the therapists may be willing to approve it a bit early. In my case the in home workers would not authorize the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), but since I was pretty sure the adoption subsidy would pay for the school (which they later did) sent him anyway. Knowing there was a place willing to take my son made dealing with him easier.
What you are dealing with right now is so hard. You seem to be hanging in there as hard as it is. I am glad you told your daughter she isn't going to still have you if her behaviors don't change. I was pretty mean about telling my son I wanted him gone and then I had to modify that when he actually left so he would know he would have a home to come back to when/if he improves. I hope this gets better for you soon.