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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 430928" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>Hi, and welcome. You do seem to have a good handle on things, and got to some very specific questions. I can add my 2 cents.</p><p></p><p><strong>Food:</strong></p><p>Obesity is a HUGE problem in my family so I addressed it early, and having a plan in place has helped when a change in difficult child medications or symptoms affects their desire to eat. In all fairness, my Aspie son defined this plan for me when he was 7. He wanted his home lunch and snack time to be consistent with school, so I complied with his request, and we banged it out.</p><p></p><p>We have 3 meals a day and 3 snacks. Meals MUST be something resembling real food - chicken nuggets, hot dogs burgers etc. Kids can be really picky and only you can decide what you consider 'real' food for your family. Snack can be either a small portion or real food or a "snack" - again, defining that is up to you. In my house it can be anything from fruit to Twinkies. When it is "junk" food, we always check portion sizes and calories so the kids are aware of what real life portions are (most ppl don't realize that 1 pop tart is the portion size - not the 2 that come packaged). Now, they could also have FREE foods all day - raw veggies and water. Of course my kids did not want that, but the option was always available, and they would try them once in a while to see if their taste for them changed.</p><p></p><p>Just recently this really worked to my advantage since DD1's medications changed and she got HUNGRY - ALL THE TIME. Yeah, she's finally snacking on those veggies. This is also especially helpful in the summer when the kids are home and get bored, and just want to eat out of boredom - it's not time yet.</p><p></p><p>This plan has averted lots of arguments and begging and pleading in my house with all 3 kids. Certainly, they still "try" to get a second serving of cake, cookies, etc, but they are kids, and I would think it strange if they never tried. </p><p></p><p><strong>Remaining neutral</strong>:</p><p>In my situation I think it does help with difficult child, but more importantly it helps me. When I fly off the handle, or just start raising my voice, I'm useless for quite some time after. I'll even start snapping at the "innocent" ones. The calmer I stay, the calmer I stay. It is still VERY stressful for me and depending on the situation, I might need the time out, but I recover much more quickly. And then there are just certain times of month that all bets are off! lol</p><p></p><p><strong>Effective tx</strong></p><p></p><p>I have this exact problem with DD1 she has a hard enough time opening up to me let alone someone else (duh! social anxiety) Check out other therapists. Just like any relationship he might just need to find one that "clicks" for him. I had stopped therapy because it really wasn't doing much other than having DD1 and DD2 hear the same thing mom was telling them from a different person. DD1 is back in and her last session was about self esteem. ALWAYS good stuff to work on, but not what she really needs right now. I have to guide the therapist to work on what I find important. Unfortunately, even if therapist is willing, DD1 isn't always so it does make it more difficult.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 430928, member: 11965"] Hi, and welcome. You do seem to have a good handle on things, and got to some very specific questions. I can add my 2 cents. [B]Food:[/B] Obesity is a HUGE problem in my family so I addressed it early, and having a plan in place has helped when a change in difficult child medications or symptoms affects their desire to eat. In all fairness, my Aspie son defined this plan for me when he was 7. He wanted his home lunch and snack time to be consistent with school, so I complied with his request, and we banged it out. We have 3 meals a day and 3 snacks. Meals MUST be something resembling real food - chicken nuggets, hot dogs burgers etc. Kids can be really picky and only you can decide what you consider 'real' food for your family. Snack can be either a small portion or real food or a "snack" - again, defining that is up to you. In my house it can be anything from fruit to Twinkies. When it is "junk" food, we always check portion sizes and calories so the kids are aware of what real life portions are (most ppl don't realize that 1 pop tart is the portion size - not the 2 that come packaged). Now, they could also have FREE foods all day - raw veggies and water. Of course my kids did not want that, but the option was always available, and they would try them once in a while to see if their taste for them changed. Just recently this really worked to my advantage since DD1's medications changed and she got HUNGRY - ALL THE TIME. Yeah, she's finally snacking on those veggies. This is also especially helpful in the summer when the kids are home and get bored, and just want to eat out of boredom - it's not time yet. This plan has averted lots of arguments and begging and pleading in my house with all 3 kids. Certainly, they still "try" to get a second serving of cake, cookies, etc, but they are kids, and I would think it strange if they never tried. [B]Remaining neutral[/B]: In my situation I think it does help with difficult child, but more importantly it helps me. When I fly off the handle, or just start raising my voice, I'm useless for quite some time after. I'll even start snapping at the "innocent" ones. The calmer I stay, the calmer I stay. It is still VERY stressful for me and depending on the situation, I might need the time out, but I recover much more quickly. And then there are just certain times of month that all bets are off! lol [B]Effective tx[/B] I have this exact problem with DD1 she has a hard enough time opening up to me let alone someone else (duh! social anxiety) Check out other therapists. Just like any relationship he might just need to find one that "clicks" for him. I had stopped therapy because it really wasn't doing much other than having DD1 and DD2 hear the same thing mom was telling them from a different person. DD1 is back in and her last session was about self esteem. ALWAYS good stuff to work on, but not what she really needs right now. I have to guide the therapist to work on what I find important. Unfortunately, even if therapist is willing, DD1 isn't always so it does make it more difficult. [/QUOTE]
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