I've posted here a few times, but I have never introduced myself and my situation because I am in so much pain right now that everytime I start to think about the situation as a whole, I get so depressed I can't do it. Rehashing everything that has happened is just too much. So I'm forcing myself to just jump into a post and give at least enough info so I can start asking the questions I have, and the rest of the story will come out gradually. My difficult child is 14 and has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. She also has some chronic health issues, like migraines. She hasn't functioned normally in a long time. In 8th grade, she started having a lot of school absences, and was unable/unwilling to make up the work. In 9th grade, I tried twice to get her a 504 plan. It just made the teachers even more unsympathetic, and was completely humilating for me because of the teacher's attitudes. She was in a gifted program and there was a ton of homework. She would miss school, and then be unable to make up the missed work and do the current homework as well. A big part of the problem is that she has both physical and emotional issues. She has genuine, doctor-diagnosed medical issues, but when people hear she gets headaches and stomachaches, they brush all her problems off as emotional, and then it's my fault because I just have to "make" her go to school. I think this forum is the only place where there are parents who understand that sometimes you can't "make" a 14 yr old do anything. And when the emotional issues are interspersed with actual medical problems, I am the one who has to make the call as to whether she is really physically sick that day, or feeling sick due to anxiety. Sometimes I can't even tell. Add to this that she's incredibly stubborn. We managed to get her into the charter school she wanted to go to because it's arts-oriented. But the fact that teachers and counselor are really nice, she really likes the general atmosphere, and the homework is minimal, hasn't kept her from failing the whole first semester of high school due to absences and missing too much work. SHe's got a new therapist she started with in September, who I have mixed feelings about, and a Kaiser psychiatrist who's almost impossible to get an appointment with. She's been trying different medications, which is a long story in itself. We're finally getting to see a gastroenterologist next week so we can either get her diagnosed or rule out a physical issue there. It's all so enormously complicated, how the problems feed into each other, and it's almost impossible to make anyone understand that. She rarely sees friends outside of school, spent the whole summer in bed, and is always exhausted. My own depression started at 14, so this is really pushing my guilt buttons. I can barely handle my own anxiety. I'm horrified about the school situation, but feel helpless because nothing I try helps. Even her therapist rants to me about "how will she ever be able to keep a job if she can't even get to school, and it's my fault for not making her go." I really don't think this is the kind of attitude that will help difficult child, and I told the therapist that. She really doesn't need to worry about the rest of her life right now. It's not helpful for a child who already feels completely overwhelmed.