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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 742055" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>We do usually think we have the right answers. If we did, our loved ones would be fixed. You dont know if the counselor who worked for you would be a great fit for son, especially if it is one of the opposite sex. He has to pick his own counselors and his way of quitting and, yes, even his time to quit. You really cant stop a relapse yet you dont know that he isnt sober still.</p><p></p><p>My son who is my hardest child always says "I cant stand not knowing. Its torture." This is where he struggles the most....when there are answers but he doesnt have them yet. It IS hard but we cant always be informed. If your son wants you to know what is going on, he will contact you. So it makes sense to wait and see, although it is hard, because he knows how to get in touch with you and will when he wants to.</p><p></p><p>My son can be difficult. Often its a relief when he doesnt call to give me the latest drama. There is nothing I can do about it anyway.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter deserves your full attention. Her accomplishment is great. Why give part of your brain to your son when your daughter needs her mother in her time of great triumph? Sometimes I think we spent too much mind space on those who trouble us and not enough on those who are there for us with joy and kindness.</p><p></p><p>Kudos to your amazing daughter!! Grad school! Smart young woman! May she thrive and meet all her goals! What is her Major?</p><p></p><p>Love and light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 742055, member: 1550"] We do usually think we have the right answers. If we did, our loved ones would be fixed. You dont know if the counselor who worked for you would be a great fit for son, especially if it is one of the opposite sex. He has to pick his own counselors and his way of quitting and, yes, even his time to quit. You really cant stop a relapse yet you dont know that he isnt sober still. My son who is my hardest child always says "I cant stand not knowing. Its torture." This is where he struggles the most....when there are answers but he doesnt have them yet. It IS hard but we cant always be informed. If your son wants you to know what is going on, he will contact you. So it makes sense to wait and see, although it is hard, because he knows how to get in touch with you and will when he wants to. My son can be difficult. Often its a relief when he doesnt call to give me the latest drama. There is nothing I can do about it anyway. Your daughter deserves your full attention. Her accomplishment is great. Why give part of your brain to your son when your daughter needs her mother in her time of great triumph? Sometimes I think we spent too much mind space on those who trouble us and not enough on those who are there for us with joy and kindness. Kudos to your amazing daughter!! Grad school! Smart young woman! May she thrive and meet all her goals! What is her Major? Love and light! [/QUOTE]
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