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<blockquote data-quote="HaoZi" data-source="post: 447249"><p>I've been separated since 2004, had two final hearings, and still haven't managed to actually get divorced. He was served, I did the silly parenting and divorce grief class, blah blah blah, but because my ex did not once send in anything to court saying yea, nay, or f u, they won't give me the stupid finalization. It might be because what I'm asking for is so beyond the visitation guildelines, but still... he was served and didn't argue it. Now unless I write the whole frikkin thing up again and get him to sign off on it, nothing is going to happen. Judge also wanted us to re-do the support order. Well I tried that before, but because his state issued the order on behalf of another state, they refuse to give up jurisdiction on that. I sent in all the paperwork to have it redone here, and the response I got from the other state was that same paperwork and the requirement of that state's notary. You kidding me?! I'm not going 800+ miles to get the same frikkin paperwork notarized when it should be moved here anyway just because that state won't let it go.</p><p></p><p>So I've let it linger. Kind of like my oil changes (don't smack me Shari!). When I have the $ I forget to get it done; when I remember I need it, I don't have the $.</p><p></p><p>Now this isn't my first divorce, and from my perspective if I was seriously looking to remarry or even co-habitate with a guy at this point, one requirement is that it be someone that HAS lived on their own before and has proven they're capable of taking care of themselves. Both of my ex's went straight from mama's home to mine, and after splitting straight to someone else's. Neither one of them has ever lived on their own. I don't think either of them can. I'm not raising another husband, I've already done it twice. So this paragraph is me adding my two cents on pushing him out on his own and using his girlfriend as incentive to do it. She's a mom, she's military, she's likely tired of always having to be the responsible one and wants a partner, an equal, not a grown kid. He needs to show her he can do it. Not saying that's what she's thinking or feeling, but it's possible and if he thinks that's what she wants, he might well rise to the occasion.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HaoZi, post: 447249"] I've been separated since 2004, had two final hearings, and still haven't managed to actually get divorced. He was served, I did the silly parenting and divorce grief class, blah blah blah, but because my ex did not once send in anything to court saying yea, nay, or f u, they won't give me the stupid finalization. It might be because what I'm asking for is so beyond the visitation guildelines, but still... he was served and didn't argue it. Now unless I write the whole frikkin thing up again and get him to sign off on it, nothing is going to happen. Judge also wanted us to re-do the support order. Well I tried that before, but because his state issued the order on behalf of another state, they refuse to give up jurisdiction on that. I sent in all the paperwork to have it redone here, and the response I got from the other state was that same paperwork and the requirement of that state's notary. You kidding me?! I'm not going 800+ miles to get the same frikkin paperwork notarized when it should be moved here anyway just because that state won't let it go. So I've let it linger. Kind of like my oil changes (don't smack me Shari!). When I have the $ I forget to get it done; when I remember I need it, I don't have the $. Now this isn't my first divorce, and from my perspective if I was seriously looking to remarry or even co-habitate with a guy at this point, one requirement is that it be someone that HAS lived on their own before and has proven they're capable of taking care of themselves. Both of my ex's went straight from mama's home to mine, and after splitting straight to someone else's. Neither one of them has ever lived on their own. I don't think either of them can. I'm not raising another husband, I've already done it twice. So this paragraph is me adding my two cents on pushing him out on his own and using his girlfriend as incentive to do it. She's a mom, she's military, she's likely tired of always having to be the responsible one and wants a partner, an equal, not a grown kid. He needs to show her he can do it. Not saying that's what she's thinking or feeling, but it's possible and if he thinks that's what she wants, he might well rise to the occasion. [/QUOTE]
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