Is difficult child growing up?

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Nancy, Feb 11, 2013.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Spent the early part of the day helping difficult child open a checking account under the terms we gave her, no debit or ATM card, no way to overdraw the account because she has to go in to deposit or withdraw. We told her if she wanted us to help her get out of debt and start out fresh she had to agree to our financial terms. Her income tax refund will automatically go into her bank account and she will come over for us to help her figure out which bills to pay and how to stretch the money as far as it can possibly go. She is having her paycheck from the restaurant directly depositted in her checking account so less money burning a hole in her pocket.

    We then went to the gas company authorized payment center to pay her February gas to prevent shut off and sent her on her way to apply for her health coverage.

    She kicked the roommate's boyfriend out yesterday thank goodness and told the roomate if she didn't pay her part of the rent by Friday she had to leave. Roommate came home last night and said she will move out as soon as she finds another place and then left. difficult child says she is very relieved they will both be gone.

    Now comes the hard part, difficult child alone will be responsible for the full rent and utilities. We talked about how this will be difficult and she should probably look for another roommate but with conditions and rules spelled out. We realize this means we will have to subsidize her more than we planned but it is what it is and we don't want her moving back home.

    Here's the great news....she got a call today from one of the other places she interviewed for a job and they offered her a serving job, it's a very good restaurant that has been a fixture for years. So she was going to talk to her boss today about putting her on a same schedule every week so she can work both jobs. If she can do this she will actually have a good chance in being able to pay her bills on time.

    She told me she was thinking last night that she is willing to give her dog to a rescue group so that she might be able to find another, cheaper apartment that she can pay herself. She loves that dog so I was very encouraged to hear her come to that conclusion.

    I came home and logged onto facebook and saw this status that she posted on her fb:

    I'm so thankful for my mom. She's always been there for me and helped me with any and every problem I've ever had. I don't know what I'd do without her. Love you mom ♥
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2013
  2. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    oh wOw; i have tears in my eyes...crossing every body part, hope in my heart
  3. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Aww, Nancy, that made me tear up. I think she is going to make it. I really do.

  4. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Yipeeee! Gratitude and maturity must go hand-in-hand. What tremendous strides she's making - I think she's really serious this time. Wow - if she can get that other job and manage both schedules, she'll be home free. :congratualtions:
  5. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Member


    She has come a long way!! I'm very happy for all of you!!!

    P.S. I would save a screenshot of that earned it many times over!!
  6. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Nancy it sounds like she is using her head....yay! Very happy for her and you/husband.
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member REALLY sounds like progress. Hoping and praying. DDD
  8. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    She is doing well. And willing to give up the pet is huge. Do you think two jobs will be too much for her? How many hours will she be working? -RM
  9. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Nancy, great update... and I loved her FB post!! Wow if she can manage two jobs and do this that would be fantastic. and gosh if she is working that much she won't have time to get into trouble and that would be a good thing.

  10. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Awww....she is a good hearted kid! So happy to here of her successes! Even small ones count a big with a difficult child! Wahoo!!!!!
  11. Zardo

    Zardo Member

    Wow - it's so encouraging to see how far she has come- prayers for both if you that the growth continues
  12. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    LOVING this update! :) Each step she takes forward is a huge step.