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Is he serious?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 370596" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I think k is right. Think about how many adult women who are physically fit, even have self defense training, are raped or molested every year. Many of those women know how to stay out of risky situations. They are still assaulted and many do not survive. </p><p> </p><p>K's difficult child is a teen who knows that he knows everything and can control everything. Typical teen thinking. How easy would it be for an adult male who is his legal guardian to come into his room in the night and to assault him? Or for that adult, who is KNOWN to use drugs and alcohol, and who has already said that there is nothing wrong with a teen using them, to get difficult child drunk or stoned and then to abuse him?</p><p> </p><p>As much as we say that difficult child is street smart, that he is big enough or strong enough or smart enough to fend off an attacker, the reality is that he isn't any of those things. This child does NOT see the long term consequences of his actions, like his mother losing the house and her job because he kept getting into trouble and she had to stop working to supervise him. It is a pretty simple equation, one that is common sense more than anything else. But until now difficult child didn't believe it would really happen.</p><p> </p><p>Chances are that if the uncle assaulted difficult child, no one would know about it for a LONG time. IF he reported it he would be called a liar and his juvenile record would be used against it. In all likelihood the uncle would get boat loads of sympathy and pats on the back for "helping" the "liar" even after he was accused. Talk about having your cake and eating it too! It would be a perfect set-up for the uncle. Males so rarely report sexual assault, esp in their teens and esp if the abuser is male. He would most certainly get further into drugs to escape what was happening to him. </p><p> </p><p>Having stopped to think about it that way, I agree with K. Under no circumstances would I do ANYTHING that would result in my child going to that man, that situation. Wouldn't you, regardless of what your child had done? Would sending the kid into that situation be justified by anything he did to you? </p><p> </p><p>I am sorry I did not think this through before I started making suggestions to K. If we heard of a parent who sent a child to live with a known abuser (esp one who had abused the parent), what would we say to them? We would likely tell them not to, that the abuser could not be trusted no matter what they said, and that there MUST be a better option. Wouldn't we?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 370596, member: 1233"] I think k is right. Think about how many adult women who are physically fit, even have self defense training, are raped or molested every year. Many of those women know how to stay out of risky situations. They are still assaulted and many do not survive. K's difficult child is a teen who knows that he knows everything and can control everything. Typical teen thinking. How easy would it be for an adult male who is his legal guardian to come into his room in the night and to assault him? Or for that adult, who is KNOWN to use drugs and alcohol, and who has already said that there is nothing wrong with a teen using them, to get difficult child drunk or stoned and then to abuse him? As much as we say that difficult child is street smart, that he is big enough or strong enough or smart enough to fend off an attacker, the reality is that he isn't any of those things. This child does NOT see the long term consequences of his actions, like his mother losing the house and her job because he kept getting into trouble and she had to stop working to supervise him. It is a pretty simple equation, one that is common sense more than anything else. But until now difficult child didn't believe it would really happen. Chances are that if the uncle assaulted difficult child, no one would know about it for a LONG time. IF he reported it he would be called a liar and his juvenile record would be used against it. In all likelihood the uncle would get boat loads of sympathy and pats on the back for "helping" the "liar" even after he was accused. Talk about having your cake and eating it too! It would be a perfect set-up for the uncle. Males so rarely report sexual assault, esp in their teens and esp if the abuser is male. He would most certainly get further into drugs to escape what was happening to him. Having stopped to think about it that way, I agree with K. Under no circumstances would I do ANYTHING that would result in my child going to that man, that situation. Wouldn't you, regardless of what your child had done? Would sending the kid into that situation be justified by anything he did to you? I am sorry I did not think this through before I started making suggestions to K. If we heard of a parent who sent a child to live with a known abuser (esp one who had abused the parent), what would we say to them? We would likely tell them not to, that the abuser could not be trusted no matter what they said, and that there MUST be a better option. Wouldn't we? [/QUOTE]
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