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is it always about the kids?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 533532" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>This is why my kids have ALWAYS had to pick and choose what they want to do. You are a person, just like difficult child is. Being his mother does NOT mean your life stops except when he is there, does it? Of course not. My kids would have to give up things liek an occasional game or practice if there was a family event. Period. I have had numerous coaches and other parents tell me how horrible I am for not going to every game and practice and for expecting a child to miss a game for a wedding or out of town family visits or something and my answer? Go away. I don't CARE about their opinions. My child is at regularly scheduled practices and games, the ones we committed to, but if YOU add extras with-o asking us then don't expect ME to feel they are mandatory. Heck, one coach got upset because I was on the phone during a practice and read a book when not on the phone. I was NOT loud, was NOT near the players, was NOT interrupting ANYTHING, my kid had her equipment, I even provided water bottles for him and for HIS daughter, but I wasn't raptly fascinated by the practice. To be honest, I LOATHED watching games and practices were even worse. I ONLY watched because it was important to Jess (or thank you or Wiz, whichever kid was playing) - NOT because I had even the SLiGHTEST interest. Cause I did not. </p><p></p><p>I also feel that WAY too many sports events are held and that they interfere HUGELY with family functioning. We always had one evening per week that was for family and there was NO, ZIP, ZERO ZILCH excuse for missing dinner. not a migraine for me, a meeting at work for husband, a game or practice for the kids. If there was a school event that we knew about well ahead of time we either all went or we rescheduled family time. I strongly feel family is MORE important that games, teams, scouts, or other activities. each round of new activities or school period we could re-arrange which night of the week was family night, and with a week or more notice could even change it for an event. But around here they don't feel that it is reasonalbe to give you even a week's notice - not even by email, text, im or phone call. Often we would find out on Wed or Thurs that an unscheduled thing was scheduled for all day Sat or all night fri and all day Sat and even all day Sun - starting as early as 8 am in a place an hour or more away. That is pure nonsense and my kid often didn't go if we had ANYTHING else on the schedule. </p><p></p><p>So no, it is NOT wrong in any way for you to go ahead and go. difficult child needs to learn that he is NOT the center of the universe, and all the coaches out there need to get over kids missing a practice or even a game now and then. We had one or two coaches who even tried to make J show up when she was throwing up from migraines because, ya know, she was faking it. She went to one guy's house and vomited on him ten mn before a game when he insisted she show up or be cut from the team (a 4th grade team for crying out loud!). After that teh coaches ALL learned not to push her, or me. Cause I was the one who turned her to him as she started to vomit. She would have just gotten his grass, but I dealt with sports jerks like this myself and decided he could feel the full fury of a migraine for hmself as he was the one who INSISTED most abusively that she show up. He was told to be grateful I didn't take her to do that on him at the game - and boy did he get an earful from the head of the organization that arraned the league after I called him. Of course the coach thought that he would be praised and I would be scolded for her 'behavior' and he was truly shocked when he was yelled at that she had a frickin' medical issue and he needed to buy some clues and sympathy or stop coaching period. they actually refused to let him coach for a year after that because they had her migraines documented in her team application complete with a doctor's note about the problems. At the time they had asked us to stop giving her any triptans to stop the migraines because of side effects, so her only treatement was pain medications and a dark room until it went away.</p><p></p><p>go ahead and go. take easy child. heck, if difficult child is that upset, make him not play for a few months and join something the next season. there is nOTHiNG wrong with missing a season of a sport. i don't CARE what the others say. life and family are vastly more important than sports.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 533532, member: 1233"] This is why my kids have ALWAYS had to pick and choose what they want to do. You are a person, just like difficult child is. Being his mother does NOT mean your life stops except when he is there, does it? Of course not. My kids would have to give up things liek an occasional game or practice if there was a family event. Period. I have had numerous coaches and other parents tell me how horrible I am for not going to every game and practice and for expecting a child to miss a game for a wedding or out of town family visits or something and my answer? Go away. I don't CARE about their opinions. My child is at regularly scheduled practices and games, the ones we committed to, but if YOU add extras with-o asking us then don't expect ME to feel they are mandatory. Heck, one coach got upset because I was on the phone during a practice and read a book when not on the phone. I was NOT loud, was NOT near the players, was NOT interrupting ANYTHING, my kid had her equipment, I even provided water bottles for him and for HIS daughter, but I wasn't raptly fascinated by the practice. To be honest, I LOATHED watching games and practices were even worse. I ONLY watched because it was important to Jess (or thank you or Wiz, whichever kid was playing) - NOT because I had even the SLiGHTEST interest. Cause I did not. I also feel that WAY too many sports events are held and that they interfere HUGELY with family functioning. We always had one evening per week that was for family and there was NO, ZIP, ZERO ZILCH excuse for missing dinner. not a migraine for me, a meeting at work for husband, a game or practice for the kids. If there was a school event that we knew about well ahead of time we either all went or we rescheduled family time. I strongly feel family is MORE important that games, teams, scouts, or other activities. each round of new activities or school period we could re-arrange which night of the week was family night, and with a week or more notice could even change it for an event. But around here they don't feel that it is reasonalbe to give you even a week's notice - not even by email, text, im or phone call. Often we would find out on Wed or Thurs that an unscheduled thing was scheduled for all day Sat or all night fri and all day Sat and even all day Sun - starting as early as 8 am in a place an hour or more away. That is pure nonsense and my kid often didn't go if we had ANYTHING else on the schedule. So no, it is NOT wrong in any way for you to go ahead and go. difficult child needs to learn that he is NOT the center of the universe, and all the coaches out there need to get over kids missing a practice or even a game now and then. We had one or two coaches who even tried to make J show up when she was throwing up from migraines because, ya know, she was faking it. She went to one guy's house and vomited on him ten mn before a game when he insisted she show up or be cut from the team (a 4th grade team for crying out loud!). After that teh coaches ALL learned not to push her, or me. Cause I was the one who turned her to him as she started to vomit. She would have just gotten his grass, but I dealt with sports jerks like this myself and decided he could feel the full fury of a migraine for hmself as he was the one who INSISTED most abusively that she show up. He was told to be grateful I didn't take her to do that on him at the game - and boy did he get an earful from the head of the organization that arraned the league after I called him. Of course the coach thought that he would be praised and I would be scolded for her 'behavior' and he was truly shocked when he was yelled at that she had a frickin' medical issue and he needed to buy some clues and sympathy or stop coaching period. they actually refused to let him coach for a year after that because they had her migraines documented in her team application complete with a doctor's note about the problems. At the time they had asked us to stop giving her any triptans to stop the migraines because of side effects, so her only treatement was pain medications and a dark room until it went away. go ahead and go. take easy child. heck, if difficult child is that upset, make him not play for a few months and join something the next season. there is nOTHiNG wrong with missing a season of a sport. i don't CARE what the others say. life and family are vastly more important than sports. [/QUOTE]
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