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Is it ever ok to just be "done?"
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<blockquote data-quote="rebelson" data-source="post: 687302" data-attributes="member: 19966"><p>Tuesday night I attended my 1st Nar-Anon mtg. There was a woman there whose mid 20-something son is a heroin addict. </p><p></p><p>I admired her strength, resolve re: her addict. It was not put-on either, I cld feel her detachment from across the room. She said she "was done with him", for now. Until he stops. </p><p></p><p>I am far, far from where she is. But I am not too hard on myself. I am only ~2 months in to this detachment thing. </p><p></p><p>My son has said wicked things to me also, usually when drunk or on a benzo. Then the next call he acts like nothing. </p><p></p><p>His psychologist told me that by accepting that treatment of me, he is not learning that it is wrong. I did not see that side effect of it, but now I do. </p><p></p><p>This particular mother at Nar-Anon the other night, said something that really got me thinking. </p><p></p><p>She said: "I have heard more than once that when the MOTHER (not father) COMPLETELY detaches, that often that can be a big 'eye-opener' for the addict."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rebelson, post: 687302, member: 19966"] Tuesday night I attended my 1st Nar-Anon mtg. There was a woman there whose mid 20-something son is a heroin addict. I admired her strength, resolve re: her addict. It was not put-on either, I cld feel her detachment from across the room. She said she "was done with him", for now. Until he stops. I am far, far from where she is. But I am not too hard on myself. I am only ~2 months in to this detachment thing. My son has said wicked things to me also, usually when drunk or on a benzo. Then the next call he acts like nothing. His psychologist told me that by accepting that treatment of me, he is not learning that it is wrong. I did not see that side effect of it, but now I do. This particular mother at Nar-Anon the other night, said something that really got me thinking. She said: "I have heard more than once that when the MOTHER (not father) COMPLETELY detaches, that often that can be a big 'eye-opener' for the addict." [/QUOTE]
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Is it ever ok to just be "done?"
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