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Parent Emeritus
Is it ever ok to just be "done?"
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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 687351" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>SWOT -</p><p></p><p>She started her difficulty early but not to this extreme. We just thought it was normal teen rebellion bc she was also so accomplished at school, kept the same group of friends, worked the same job, was reliable, etc. even if she snuck out, was places she shouldn't be. She wasn't a cutter and she didn't use drugs. She drank a few times and smoked. Every bit of that person and those capabilities are gone. She cannot maintain anything with consistency. But now I wonder if she was only able to do it then bc we were so consistent and routine in our house. On her own, she can't set the boundaries and expectations that we did. </p><p></p><p>No, it has nothing to do with when she is using. She was in a rehab for months, completely detoxed, and was at times the most hateful I have ever seen her. She is very black and white - I am either the best mother in the world (rare) or the worst (most often). She is this way with everyone. She lies, steals, manipulates, cuts, uses drugs and people, rages and explodes over any perceived slight - and there is no predictability to her moods or reactions bc they shift so quickly. It is like being in a room with someone who keeps flicking the light switch. </p><p></p><p>When she is using, she is the same only with crazy, paranoid, make no sense accusations thrown in on top of everything else. She can be frightening when she is using - I have been afraid she would attack me when she was high bc her rages would escalate to such a frenzied level. I had to lock her out of the house that time bc I was so afraid of what she was capable of. </p><p></p><p>Part of me feels I am in the wrong bc she has a diagnosed personality disorder - how can I just walk away? She has a mental illness! But another part of me recognizes that her illness is treatable and she refuses that, and in doing so, she not only destroys herself but anyone else who is close to her. I feel I should have the right to save myself if I can't save her. Ironically, her "divided" personality creates a division in my emotions regarding her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 687351, member: 19905"] SWOT - She started her difficulty early but not to this extreme. We just thought it was normal teen rebellion bc she was also so accomplished at school, kept the same group of friends, worked the same job, was reliable, etc. even if she snuck out, was places she shouldn't be. She wasn't a cutter and she didn't use drugs. She drank a few times and smoked. Every bit of that person and those capabilities are gone. She cannot maintain anything with consistency. But now I wonder if she was only able to do it then bc we were so consistent and routine in our house. On her own, she can't set the boundaries and expectations that we did. No, it has nothing to do with when she is using. She was in a rehab for months, completely detoxed, and was at times the most hateful I have ever seen her. She is very black and white - I am either the best mother in the world (rare) or the worst (most often). She is this way with everyone. She lies, steals, manipulates, cuts, uses drugs and people, rages and explodes over any perceived slight - and there is no predictability to her moods or reactions bc they shift so quickly. It is like being in a room with someone who keeps flicking the light switch. When she is using, she is the same only with crazy, paranoid, make no sense accusations thrown in on top of everything else. She can be frightening when she is using - I have been afraid she would attack me when she was high bc her rages would escalate to such a frenzied level. I had to lock her out of the house that time bc I was so afraid of what she was capable of. Part of me feels I am in the wrong bc she has a diagnosed personality disorder - how can I just walk away? She has a mental illness! But another part of me recognizes that her illness is treatable and she refuses that, and in doing so, she not only destroys herself but anyone else who is close to her. I feel I should have the right to save myself if I can't save her. Ironically, her "divided" personality creates a division in my emotions regarding her. [/QUOTE]
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Is it ever ok to just be "done?"
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