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Is my 14 years old daughter evil?!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 715757" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Maria, Welcome to our forum. This truly is a wonderful group where you will find support, help and zero judgement no matter how difficult your daughter becomes. My oldest son was very violent for many years and this group saved our lives and was able to help us all. </p><p></p><p>So you truly have found the right place to find support. I cannot say if your daughter is evil. That is a subjective quality, and likely a religious judgement. I do think she is highly disturbed. Unless and until she is willing to accept help, I don't know if much can be done. </p><p></p><p>The others are correct. Harming animals is a very serious thing. Feeling no remorse about harming an animal is even more serious. What she describes is actually torturing an animal, that desire to see the fear in their eyes. I would be incredibly worried about any vulnerable being around her, animal or human, because she could get that same thrill from either. My oldest was very violent to people, but he would rather blind himself than harm any animal. Even if that animal attacked him! </p><p></p><p>It is my concern that she expresses a desire to be a 'good person' to you because she wants something from you, not because she has any genuine desire to change. I say this because she refuses to see a psychiatrist and says she will lie if you make her see one. I don't think forcing her to see a doctor accomplish anything positive. </p><p></p><p>Your daughter would rank high on what are called callous unemotional personality traits. This means she has a distinct lack of empathy or emotion. She likely does not recognize other people's emotions even when they are displayed very dramatically. If she is socially adept, she may be able to identify emotions, and to appear to display them, but she probably doesn't actually respect other people's emotions. </p><p></p><p>The things you are describing are very scary. None of us are able to give you a diagnosis because it is a very complicated process. I can say that years ago I knew a mother of a boy who tortured animals. Our son's saw the same psychiatrist. That boy was called a 'budding psychopath' but much more was known about his behavior and thought processes by the doctor. I do know that he set fires. In fact the mother left him alone in the waiting room and he got into another mother's purse and set the waiting room on fire! We were in a therapy session and the entire hospital had to be evacuated. </p><p></p><p>I don't think enough is known about your daughter to say anything close to that about her. I would think about the circumstances of the fire that scared her though. Is it possible that she was playing with fire at that time and set the fire accidentally? Could that be what scared her? If so, at least she is smart enough to be scared off by harming herself. That is a good thing. Many people are not scared off even when they get hurt when they play with fire. </p><p></p><p>How does your daughter behave when she is disciplined by you and her father? If you take something away, does she get angry and retaliate or act out in some way? Or does she accept her punishment the way a normal child would? What is a normal method of disciplining her when she gets into trouble? What do you think she would do if you took the internet away from her for accessing these videos of animal torture? Has it occurred to you to supervise her internet usage or to remove all internet usage as a consequence for viewing inappropriate material? This is pretty common her in the US, but is it a common thing to do in your country? What would her reaction be?</p><p></p><p>We may suggest something, but we don't have to live with the results. We really do understand if you don't feel that what we suggest is the right thing to do. These are just ideas, and not all ideas are right for every family. I truly don't know if your daughter is evil, but something is extremely wrong. Please do not leave her alone with any animals, children or vulnerable people. If you feel she is a danger to you, do whatever you feel you need to do in order to protect yourself. I know firsthand how hard that can be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 715757, member: 1233"] Maria, Welcome to our forum. This truly is a wonderful group where you will find support, help and zero judgement no matter how difficult your daughter becomes. My oldest son was very violent for many years and this group saved our lives and was able to help us all. So you truly have found the right place to find support. I cannot say if your daughter is evil. That is a subjective quality, and likely a religious judgement. I do think she is highly disturbed. Unless and until she is willing to accept help, I don't know if much can be done. The others are correct. Harming animals is a very serious thing. Feeling no remorse about harming an animal is even more serious. What she describes is actually torturing an animal, that desire to see the fear in their eyes. I would be incredibly worried about any vulnerable being around her, animal or human, because she could get that same thrill from either. My oldest was very violent to people, but he would rather blind himself than harm any animal. Even if that animal attacked him! It is my concern that she expresses a desire to be a 'good person' to you because she wants something from you, not because she has any genuine desire to change. I say this because she refuses to see a psychiatrist and says she will lie if you make her see one. I don't think forcing her to see a doctor accomplish anything positive. Your daughter would rank high on what are called callous unemotional personality traits. This means she has a distinct lack of empathy or emotion. She likely does not recognize other people's emotions even when they are displayed very dramatically. If she is socially adept, she may be able to identify emotions, and to appear to display them, but she probably doesn't actually respect other people's emotions. The things you are describing are very scary. None of us are able to give you a diagnosis because it is a very complicated process. I can say that years ago I knew a mother of a boy who tortured animals. Our son's saw the same psychiatrist. That boy was called a 'budding psychopath' but much more was known about his behavior and thought processes by the doctor. I do know that he set fires. In fact the mother left him alone in the waiting room and he got into another mother's purse and set the waiting room on fire! We were in a therapy session and the entire hospital had to be evacuated. I don't think enough is known about your daughter to say anything close to that about her. I would think about the circumstances of the fire that scared her though. Is it possible that she was playing with fire at that time and set the fire accidentally? Could that be what scared her? If so, at least she is smart enough to be scared off by harming herself. That is a good thing. Many people are not scared off even when they get hurt when they play with fire. How does your daughter behave when she is disciplined by you and her father? If you take something away, does she get angry and retaliate or act out in some way? Or does she accept her punishment the way a normal child would? What is a normal method of disciplining her when she gets into trouble? What do you think she would do if you took the internet away from her for accessing these videos of animal torture? Has it occurred to you to supervise her internet usage or to remove all internet usage as a consequence for viewing inappropriate material? This is pretty common her in the US, but is it a common thing to do in your country? What would her reaction be? We may suggest something, but we don't have to live with the results. We really do understand if you don't feel that what we suggest is the right thing to do. These are just ideas, and not all ideas are right for every family. I truly don't know if your daughter is evil, but something is extremely wrong. Please do not leave her alone with any animals, children or vulnerable people. If you feel she is a danger to you, do whatever you feel you need to do in order to protect yourself. I know firsthand how hard that can be. [/QUOTE]
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