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is the crisis time over yet???
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<blockquote data-quote="Sunlight" data-source="post: 30964" data-attributes="member: 97"><p>I am at peace with having ant out. he did end up staying with a different girl last night, one with two kids. this is his problem now and I will not help him seek solutions. I will not be here watching him get drunk. perhaps knowing he has to fend for himself will push him to stay sober. </p><p></p><p>Nomad, the codependent no more book was the start of detachment for me with ant (and my now exDH). I read that several times. good book.</p><p></p><p>boyfriend did come over. he came over to talk about "us". I did learn a few things. he looks like a guy who has not eaten or slept much in a week. When he walked in the door, he grabbed and held me for dear life, kissing me again and again. he put his head down leaning it on mine and held me a long time. </p><p></p><p>He said he came over because he was still troubled about his decision to break off and wanted to see how he felt after talking with me more. part of it is that he did love his wife of 24 yrs. she had left him 4 yrs ago, within two months, I met him. he did pursue me then but I did not want someone who had recently been divorced. he seemed too lonely and desperate. I encouraged him to date a diff woman in our group at that time. they only went together two months and she left too because she said she did not love him. he and I were very casual friends for 6 or 7 months before he finally had asked to come and make me dinner at my own house. after that we have been inseperable.</p><p></p><p>I didnt know it but March 30 is his wedding anniversary. he said when march comes he feels depressed. he had also just gotten his annulment papers in the mail, although he wanted a Catholic annulment so he could remarry if he ever chose to...the papers depressed him as well.</p><p></p><p>He is going to continue to employ ant. he did tell ant he has to get to AA mtgs and take care of himself. he asked me if we could still go out this friday night to a small theater play "Jesus Christ Superstar". </p><p>I do not think he knows what he wants and is confused. he said he is not interested in contacting any other women at all, including Marcy, the woman he had emailed. he said he wanted to seek help for his lust issues and is going to deal with that. </p><p></p><p>I do not know what he wants either but I do know I like my house peaceful. Ant cannot live here, it is not good. I will live with or without boyfriend I am sure. </p><p></p><p>Meanwhile I have been taking busywend's advice and started my walking program, connected with some gals from the past, and am going to see what I want for a change. Today I am hemming the new draperies and am happy with being busy with my new window scarves etc. (I had the same window treatment in my livingroom for about 20 yrs. with the recent breakup I had the wise idea to wash them just one more time...they fell apart...lol)tonight I will go to my book group meeting on "the purpose driven life".</p><p></p><p>one day at a time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sunlight, post: 30964, member: 97"] I am at peace with having ant out. he did end up staying with a different girl last night, one with two kids. this is his problem now and I will not help him seek solutions. I will not be here watching him get drunk. perhaps knowing he has to fend for himself will push him to stay sober. Nomad, the codependent no more book was the start of detachment for me with ant (and my now exDH). I read that several times. good book. boyfriend did come over. he came over to talk about "us". I did learn a few things. he looks like a guy who has not eaten or slept much in a week. When he walked in the door, he grabbed and held me for dear life, kissing me again and again. he put his head down leaning it on mine and held me a long time. He said he came over because he was still troubled about his decision to break off and wanted to see how he felt after talking with me more. part of it is that he did love his wife of 24 yrs. she had left him 4 yrs ago, within two months, I met him. he did pursue me then but I did not want someone who had recently been divorced. he seemed too lonely and desperate. I encouraged him to date a diff woman in our group at that time. they only went together two months and she left too because she said she did not love him. he and I were very casual friends for 6 or 7 months before he finally had asked to come and make me dinner at my own house. after that we have been inseperable. I didnt know it but March 30 is his wedding anniversary. he said when march comes he feels depressed. he had also just gotten his annulment papers in the mail, although he wanted a Catholic annulment so he could remarry if he ever chose to...the papers depressed him as well. He is going to continue to employ ant. he did tell ant he has to get to AA mtgs and take care of himself. he asked me if we could still go out this friday night to a small theater play "Jesus Christ Superstar". I do not think he knows what he wants and is confused. he said he is not interested in contacting any other women at all, including Marcy, the woman he had emailed. he said he wanted to seek help for his lust issues and is going to deal with that. I do not know what he wants either but I do know I like my house peaceful. Ant cannot live here, it is not good. I will live with or without boyfriend I am sure. Meanwhile I have been taking busywend's advice and started my walking program, connected with some gals from the past, and am going to see what I want for a change. Today I am hemming the new draperies and am happy with being busy with my new window scarves etc. (I had the same window treatment in my livingroom for about 20 yrs. with the recent breakup I had the wise idea to wash them just one more time...they fell apart...lol)tonight I will go to my book group meeting on "the purpose driven life". one day at a time. [/QUOTE]
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