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Is there such a thing as 'Aspie-lite'?
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 461994" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Jo, you commented earlier in the thread about the way your mother in law looks at you making you think that she doesn't like you. I want to share a couple of experiences from my life that might be helpful in understanding this.</p><p></p><p>When I was in univ. a very close friend of mine mentioned that the other girls in our circle thought that I hated them, and they were nervous around me. I was confused because I liked them all very much and found their company enjoyable. My friend T told me that it's because I was always staring at them with no expression on my face. All through childhood I was told that I had to look people in the eye, so I did. And I usually have to concentrate very hard when in a group so that I don't miss social and non-verbal cues. Apparently my "deep thought" facial expression combined with staring made people think I didn't like them.</p><p></p><p>husband has a code to let me know when I'm doing this. He says, "Darling, you're <em><strong>looking </strong></em>at me." Or he tells me when I'm doing it to someone else. VERY helpful, because I'm not aware that I'm doing it.</p><p></p><p>It's one of those cases of trying to mimic regular-people gestures, but not being particularly good at it. It falls under the designation of "inappropriate eye contact" and "inappropriate affect" rather than "no" and "flat" respectively.</p><p></p><p>I wonder if your mother in law has a similar issue. She's setting her face the wrong way so that she's conveying something other than what she means...</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 461994, member: 3907"] Jo, you commented earlier in the thread about the way your mother in law looks at you making you think that she doesn't like you. I want to share a couple of experiences from my life that might be helpful in understanding this. When I was in univ. a very close friend of mine mentioned that the other girls in our circle thought that I hated them, and they were nervous around me. I was confused because I liked them all very much and found their company enjoyable. My friend T told me that it's because I was always staring at them with no expression on my face. All through childhood I was told that I had to look people in the eye, so I did. And I usually have to concentrate very hard when in a group so that I don't miss social and non-verbal cues. Apparently my "deep thought" facial expression combined with staring made people think I didn't like them. husband has a code to let me know when I'm doing this. He says, "Darling, you're [I][B]looking [/B][/I]at me." Or he tells me when I'm doing it to someone else. VERY helpful, because I'm not aware that I'm doing it. It's one of those cases of trying to mimic regular-people gestures, but not being particularly good at it. It falls under the designation of "inappropriate eye contact" and "inappropriate affect" rather than "no" and "flat" respectively. I wonder if your mother in law has a similar issue. She's setting her face the wrong way so that she's conveying something other than what she means... Trinity [/QUOTE]
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Is there such a thing as 'Aspie-lite'?
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