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Is this all really worth the headache? vent
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<blockquote data-quote="AllStressedOut" data-source="post: 86284" data-attributes="member: 3837"><p>Today the headache is still chores. This is day 3 with youngest difficult child learning a new chore. We have typed up step by step instructions because when all the other boys started doing them, we realized that typing the instructions up made it easier for them to do it correctly. </p><p></p><p>My now 10 year olds starting doing chores the summer before 2nd grade, so one was 7 1/2 and one was 7 at the time. Now that my youngest difficult child is in 2nd grade, all I've heard for the last 4 months is how it isn't fair that he isn't expected to do the same things they were. So last week we added him to the mix. </p><p></p><p>We have 4 weekly chores that all the boys swap out doing. The kitchen, their playroom, the floors and the bathrooms. The kitchen gets cleaned daily just like any other household, so cleaning the kitchen is dishes from that day, the counters and table. Last week it took youngest difficult child 3 days to get the playroom clean and it wasn't even that dirty. I've been having each one of the older boys be his "supervisor" for the chore. Last week it was my 10 year old difficult child supervising and all he did was get himself into trouble. He was goofing off and not watching youngest difficult child, then youngest difficult child just started playing around. It was so frustrating. A chore that should take no more than an hour to do, took 3 days, 2 days after school and all day Saturday.</p><p></p><p>Well, this week is a repeat. This week was oldest easy child "supervising" with the bathrooms. Well, it is now 245 here on day 3 and youngest difficult child has just barely begun the 2nd bathroom. </p><p></p><p>The thing is, I think he has many more problems than my other 2 difficult children. They function at a much higher level than he does in my opinion. I don't think he is ready for these chores yet. So I've been sitting close by while he is doing the bathrooms, but now I've told husband to come, because I'm done with the stress. I don't think there is a nice way to explain to any of the kids that we don't think he is ready for this. I think it may actually be better to just have him try to do them like they did at this age.</p><p></p><p>Yesterday, my stress was both over youngest and middle difficult child. My middle difficult child had floors to do. Two seperate times I asked if he was done with a specific part and the answer was yes, only to walk in and find out he wasn't. When I asked why he said yes, he had no response. He either didn't listen to my question both times, or he blaintanly lied to me. Then after 3 times of saying he is completely done with the floor and me walking in to find mud, grass and sticky spots, he got to scrub it with a wash rag and a bucket of warm soapy water.</p><p></p><p>With my older two difficult children, typically if I'm stricter, they do better next time. So like with middle difficult child having to scrub the one floor with a washrag and a bucket, next time he'll work harder with a vacuum and mop. This works for them usually, but it NEVER works on youngest difficult child.</p><p></p><p>All that ends up happening is everyone involved is extremely frustrated.</p><p></p><p>As for public outtings, I was thinking about a birthday party we went to a few weeks ago. We had to leave because instead of coming in to go to the bathroom, youngest difficult child peed all over himself in a bounce house filled with younger kids. So everyone was jumping in his urine. I was mortified and husband was furious. Some may say this is typical of his age and maybe some accidents are, but as often as he prefers this method, I've begun to think it's intentional. And no, for those of you wondering, there is nothing physically wrong with him. He just seems to find humor in it. I think what was so upsetting to me was the smile on his face when we discovered what happened. This is partly why I've decided it is intentional.</p><p></p><p>husband is not dealing with the chore supervising well at all. He just gets loud and all it does it cause difficult child to freeze up. Who wouldn't with someone yelling at you? But then, I certainly understand husband being so annoyed. This is liking beating your head against a brick wall. It just seems completely painful and pointless.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AllStressedOut, post: 86284, member: 3837"] Today the headache is still chores. This is day 3 with youngest difficult child learning a new chore. We have typed up step by step instructions because when all the other boys started doing them, we realized that typing the instructions up made it easier for them to do it correctly. My now 10 year olds starting doing chores the summer before 2nd grade, so one was 7 1/2 and one was 7 at the time. Now that my youngest difficult child is in 2nd grade, all I've heard for the last 4 months is how it isn't fair that he isn't expected to do the same things they were. So last week we added him to the mix. We have 4 weekly chores that all the boys swap out doing. The kitchen, their playroom, the floors and the bathrooms. The kitchen gets cleaned daily just like any other household, so cleaning the kitchen is dishes from that day, the counters and table. Last week it took youngest difficult child 3 days to get the playroom clean and it wasn't even that dirty. I've been having each one of the older boys be his "supervisor" for the chore. Last week it was my 10 year old difficult child supervising and all he did was get himself into trouble. He was goofing off and not watching youngest difficult child, then youngest difficult child just started playing around. It was so frustrating. A chore that should take no more than an hour to do, took 3 days, 2 days after school and all day Saturday. Well, this week is a repeat. This week was oldest easy child "supervising" with the bathrooms. Well, it is now 245 here on day 3 and youngest difficult child has just barely begun the 2nd bathroom. The thing is, I think he has many more problems than my other 2 difficult children. They function at a much higher level than he does in my opinion. I don't think he is ready for these chores yet. So I've been sitting close by while he is doing the bathrooms, but now I've told husband to come, because I'm done with the stress. I don't think there is a nice way to explain to any of the kids that we don't think he is ready for this. I think it may actually be better to just have him try to do them like they did at this age. Yesterday, my stress was both over youngest and middle difficult child. My middle difficult child had floors to do. Two seperate times I asked if he was done with a specific part and the answer was yes, only to walk in and find out he wasn't. When I asked why he said yes, he had no response. He either didn't listen to my question both times, or he blaintanly lied to me. Then after 3 times of saying he is completely done with the floor and me walking in to find mud, grass and sticky spots, he got to scrub it with a wash rag and a bucket of warm soapy water. With my older two difficult children, typically if I'm stricter, they do better next time. So like with middle difficult child having to scrub the one floor with a washrag and a bucket, next time he'll work harder with a vacuum and mop. This works for them usually, but it NEVER works on youngest difficult child. All that ends up happening is everyone involved is extremely frustrated. As for public outtings, I was thinking about a birthday party we went to a few weeks ago. We had to leave because instead of coming in to go to the bathroom, youngest difficult child peed all over himself in a bounce house filled with younger kids. So everyone was jumping in his urine. I was mortified and husband was furious. Some may say this is typical of his age and maybe some accidents are, but as often as he prefers this method, I've begun to think it's intentional. And no, for those of you wondering, there is nothing physically wrong with him. He just seems to find humor in it. I think what was so upsetting to me was the smile on his face when we discovered what happened. This is partly why I've decided it is intentional. husband is not dealing with the chore supervising well at all. He just gets loud and all it does it cause difficult child to freeze up. Who wouldn't with someone yelling at you? But then, I certainly understand husband being so annoyed. This is liking beating your head against a brick wall. It just seems completely painful and pointless. [/QUOTE]
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