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Is this all really worth the headache? vent
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<blockquote data-quote="AllStressedOut" data-source="post: 86343" data-attributes="member: 3837"><p>As I said earlier, my opinion is, he isn't ready for these chores yet. However, my two 10 years olds, one easy child and one difficult child, started them at his age. All 4 older boys are very upset that he hasn't had to do them up until now.</p><p></p><p>He is not doing them alone, he has one of his older brothers in there with him reading through the directions and showing him how to do it, while husband or I stand close by as well.</p><p></p><p>I do think that his functioning isn't as high as any of his brothers at this age, easy child or difficult child. I also understand why his brothers are upset that he isn't pitching in. </p><p></p><p>I won't make the mistake again of starting too late, I did this with oldest easy child. I still have to argue with him at times about why he is expected to help as a family. in my opinion, 7 is a good age to start guiding them through these types of chores. They are old enough to read, so they can read instructions. In my city, they aren't getting grades yet, and will be soon, they need to learn about doing a good job. They also need to learn responsibility.</p><p></p><p>My belief is that a family works together to make things run smoothly. I grocery shop, cook, do laundry, clean daily, drive kids everywhere etc. My husband grocery shops, cooks, cleans the kitchen daily and works full-time. My kids each help out by pitching in with a different chore that needs to be done weekly. This is part of being a family unit, helping each other and working together. I pay my kids for their grades, because to me, this is their job as a child, to be a good student, to work hard at school. I do not pay my kids for chores because I think this is just part of being a family unit. I have 5 boys, I want my boys to each be an equal partner when they get married or have significant others. I do not want them to expect their SO to do it all. I think by expecting them to pitch in as a family, this guides them towards this way of thinking. I also believe that my husband shows them how to treat a woman, by how he treats me and my daughter. He does not expect me to always cook or always clean. If I'm sick, he pitches in more in areas I usually handle.</p><p></p><p>I think most 7 year olds can do chores like this if they are taught in the many different ways we all learn, by reading, by doing, by being shown etc. I don't think I was expecting too much of my other kids when they started, but my youngest difficult child is different. The problem is how to explain this to the older boys so that they not only understand, but they not tease him and they not whine to me about him not doing these chores yet.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AllStressedOut, post: 86343, member: 3837"] As I said earlier, my opinion is, he isn't ready for these chores yet. However, my two 10 years olds, one easy child and one difficult child, started them at his age. All 4 older boys are very upset that he hasn't had to do them up until now. He is not doing them alone, he has one of his older brothers in there with him reading through the directions and showing him how to do it, while husband or I stand close by as well. I do think that his functioning isn't as high as any of his brothers at this age, easy child or difficult child. I also understand why his brothers are upset that he isn't pitching in. I won't make the mistake again of starting too late, I did this with oldest easy child. I still have to argue with him at times about why he is expected to help as a family. in my opinion, 7 is a good age to start guiding them through these types of chores. They are old enough to read, so they can read instructions. In my city, they aren't getting grades yet, and will be soon, they need to learn about doing a good job. They also need to learn responsibility. My belief is that a family works together to make things run smoothly. I grocery shop, cook, do laundry, clean daily, drive kids everywhere etc. My husband grocery shops, cooks, cleans the kitchen daily and works full-time. My kids each help out by pitching in with a different chore that needs to be done weekly. This is part of being a family unit, helping each other and working together. I pay my kids for their grades, because to me, this is their job as a child, to be a good student, to work hard at school. I do not pay my kids for chores because I think this is just part of being a family unit. I have 5 boys, I want my boys to each be an equal partner when they get married or have significant others. I do not want them to expect their SO to do it all. I think by expecting them to pitch in as a family, this guides them towards this way of thinking. I also believe that my husband shows them how to treat a woman, by how he treats me and my daughter. He does not expect me to always cook or always clean. If I'm sick, he pitches in more in areas I usually handle. I think most 7 year olds can do chores like this if they are taught in the many different ways we all learn, by reading, by doing, by being shown etc. I don't think I was expecting too much of my other kids when they started, but my youngest difficult child is different. The problem is how to explain this to the older boys so that they not only understand, but they not tease him and they not whine to me about him not doing these chores yet. [/QUOTE]
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