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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 723263" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>let me say this again because i need to hear it.</p><p></p><p>this is about us just as much as them. our own learning. </p><p></p><p>i agree with kathy that you do this for you. </p><p></p><p>he did not like that taste of the real world. he knows you require his sobriety. that does not mean he has the skills to sustain it. </p><p></p><p>the locus of control is still in you. not him. that shift needs to happen. still. where he locates the want and power in him. that is true for my own son too. even though he's a decade older.</p><p></p><p>but that does not take away that he was sober for a few days and for right now he is taking steps. and it is bearing fruit. </p><p></p><p>this is a process. both recovery and maturation. for me there can be no absolutes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 723263, member: 18958"] let me say this again because i need to hear it. this is about us just as much as them. our own learning. i agree with kathy that you do this for you. he did not like that taste of the real world. he knows you require his sobriety. that does not mean he has the skills to sustain it. the locus of control is still in you. not him. that shift needs to happen. still. where he locates the want and power in him. that is true for my own son too. even though he's a decade older. but that does not take away that he was sober for a few days and for right now he is taking steps. and it is bearing fruit. this is a process. both recovery and maturation. for me there can be no absolutes. [/QUOTE]
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