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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 723352" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>he is waiting to see if he was accepted into the tx facility. he was honest and told the admissions person he had past suicidal ideation.she told him that was a red flag. he did call back to clarify the si was in the past. she will talk to the director. they only take 2/10 applicants.</p><p></p><p>my heart sunk. but i told him i thought transparency was for the best. that we have to be real in order to heal. and he would benefit most from a place that would accept him as his life has been. so he could accept himself.</p><p></p><p>my son has vulnerabiliies in response to which i feel very anxious. he has body dysmorphia about a slightly receding hairline. which he feels is gravely disfiguring. outside of the house or around almost all people he wears a hoody. </p><p></p><p>like your son j is very physically attractive. but his lifestyle and vulnerability (and dress) affect how he looks. this pains me.</p><p></p><p>and he believes in conspiracy theories. like pizzagate and the illuminati. i read that like half of republicans in my country believe in pizzagate. and a quarter of democrats! but it still makes me crazy. </p><p></p><p>he is very much better about containing it. for awhile a couple of years ago i would not speak to him if he spoke of these themes.</p><p></p><p>he did make calls yesterday to work out issues with his medical insurance, that were barriers to entering treatment. </p><p></p><p>people like my son a lot. he can be very charming. he is warm. and highly articulate.</p><p></p><p> the neighborhood where he is living in our other house is working class. people hail him warmly and seem happy he is back. hey j. and he greets them warmly with an embrace. and because he speaks 3 languages he can talk to almost anybody.</p><p></p><p>this kind of warmth, openness, and comfort with people is uncommon in our culture where i live. at the same time he now feels uncomfortable or inferior to people he sees as superior, like university students.</p><p></p><p>j described where he was living in the city as "classist." he will not accept that their reaction is related to the way he looks and acts.</p><p></p><p>but it pains me because he identiies with vulnerable people like homeless. duh. he was homeless. (well. i am pretty open too. so there's that).</p><p></p><p> every time he leaves here where he is on his own he comes back vulnerable. but he is calm. less aggressive. mostly. trying to appease. mostly. and clearly trying to do things to please me.</p><p></p><p>m is frustrated because my son is a slob and cannot be bothered to maintain things clean. leaves a mess. and is inconsiderate. </p><p></p><p>we are upper middle class people. at least i am. and my son looks scuzzy. like borderline street person. it is not that i care for me. it is that i don't want him to suffer, feel vulnerable or be rejected.</p><p></p><p>today m pointed out a sign that said no entrance with hoods. </p><p></p><p>i may delete this post after you read it. it makes me feel vulnerable. </p><p></p><p>thank you for asking.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 723352, member: 18958"] he is waiting to see if he was accepted into the tx facility. he was honest and told the admissions person he had past suicidal ideation.she told him that was a red flag. he did call back to clarify the si was in the past. she will talk to the director. they only take 2/10 applicants. my heart sunk. but i told him i thought transparency was for the best. that we have to be real in order to heal. and he would benefit most from a place that would accept him as his life has been. so he could accept himself. my son has vulnerabiliies in response to which i feel very anxious. he has body dysmorphia about a slightly receding hairline. which he feels is gravely disfiguring. outside of the house or around almost all people he wears a hoody. like your son j is very physically attractive. but his lifestyle and vulnerability (and dress) affect how he looks. this pains me. and he believes in conspiracy theories. like pizzagate and the illuminati. i read that like half of republicans in my country believe in pizzagate. and a quarter of democrats! but it still makes me crazy. he is very much better about containing it. for awhile a couple of years ago i would not speak to him if he spoke of these themes. he did make calls yesterday to work out issues with his medical insurance, that were barriers to entering treatment. people like my son a lot. he can be very charming. he is warm. and highly articulate. the neighborhood where he is living in our other house is working class. people hail him warmly and seem happy he is back. hey j. and he greets them warmly with an embrace. and because he speaks 3 languages he can talk to almost anybody. this kind of warmth, openness, and comfort with people is uncommon in our culture where i live. at the same time he now feels uncomfortable or inferior to people he sees as superior, like university students. j described where he was living in the city as "classist." he will not accept that their reaction is related to the way he looks and acts. but it pains me because he identiies with vulnerable people like homeless. duh. he was homeless. (well. i am pretty open too. so there's that). every time he leaves here where he is on his own he comes back vulnerable. but he is calm. less aggressive. mostly. trying to appease. mostly. and clearly trying to do things to please me. m is frustrated because my son is a slob and cannot be bothered to maintain things clean. leaves a mess. and is inconsiderate. we are upper middle class people. at least i am. and my son looks scuzzy. like borderline street person. it is not that i care for me. it is that i don't want him to suffer, feel vulnerable or be rejected. today m pointed out a sign that said no entrance with hoods. i may delete this post after you read it. it makes me feel vulnerable. thank you for asking. [/QUOTE]
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