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General Parenting
is this teen behavior when they have a difficult child sib, or more?
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 546164" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>To be honest, while not having 15 year-old-girl myself, but knowing well many families who have, I think what you describe is very common and 'age-appropriate' (not nice, but neither is terrible twos) behaviour even with easy child-girl who has two years younger easy child-brother. And when the brother is difficult child and apparently noticeably special needs I think she is in fact doing better than many would. She does engage with him, allows him with her friends and doesn't try to pretend she is an only child and decline going anywhere in public with him. </p><p></p><p>Her behaviour is not nice and I understand it doesn't help and it stresses you. But it is still typical teen behaviour. That of course doesn't mean that you can not ask better from her, parent her and if needed discipline her when she is over the line (and you decide where the line is.) But keep in mind that having difficult child brother is stressful also for her. And that in that age kids are very easily embarrassed by anything different. I know several total PCs who wanted their parents to leave them block from destination when giving them a ride because they were embarrassed the car parent drove (either it being 'too old', wrong brand, wrong colour(!!!) or what ever.) It's not nice but it is typical.</p><p></p><p>Then again, it is you, who decide what time she is to be at bed, is she allowed to her brothers room after certain time or at all etc. I find all your examples rather typical behaviour. The one with the remote is something you may want to discipline her. Others are things you just have to explain her over and over again. I don't want to come off harsh but do remember she is not adult, she has no adult cognitive abilities, she really can't get it yet. Even many adults have difficulties to really understand psychological and neurological disabilities and that they are often matter of can't and not won't. She also doesn't have an ability to observe and compare her brothers behaviour yet. For her he was irritating before and irritating now, I think she is just too young to understand the big picture and differences and progression your son has made. She is still a child with child's brains and cognitive abilities. Sometimes that is easy to forget with teens, but it never should be forgotten.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 546164, member: 14557"] To be honest, while not having 15 year-old-girl myself, but knowing well many families who have, I think what you describe is very common and 'age-appropriate' (not nice, but neither is terrible twos) behaviour even with easy child-girl who has two years younger easy child-brother. And when the brother is difficult child and apparently noticeably special needs I think she is in fact doing better than many would. She does engage with him, allows him with her friends and doesn't try to pretend she is an only child and decline going anywhere in public with him. Her behaviour is not nice and I understand it doesn't help and it stresses you. But it is still typical teen behaviour. That of course doesn't mean that you can not ask better from her, parent her and if needed discipline her when she is over the line (and you decide where the line is.) But keep in mind that having difficult child brother is stressful also for her. And that in that age kids are very easily embarrassed by anything different. I know several total PCs who wanted their parents to leave them block from destination when giving them a ride because they were embarrassed the car parent drove (either it being 'too old', wrong brand, wrong colour(!!!) or what ever.) It's not nice but it is typical. Then again, it is you, who decide what time she is to be at bed, is she allowed to her brothers room after certain time or at all etc. I find all your examples rather typical behaviour. The one with the remote is something you may want to discipline her. Others are things you just have to explain her over and over again. I don't want to come off harsh but do remember she is not adult, she has no adult cognitive abilities, she really can't get it yet. Even many adults have difficulties to really understand psychological and neurological disabilities and that they are often matter of can't and not won't. She also doesn't have an ability to observe and compare her brothers behaviour yet. For her he was irritating before and irritating now, I think she is just too young to understand the big picture and differences and progression your son has made. She is still a child with child's brains and cognitive abilities. Sometimes that is easy to forget with teens, but it never should be forgotten. [/QUOTE]
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is this teen behavior when they have a difficult child sib, or more?
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