Addiction is a selfish beast.
I’m sorry Copa. That metaphorical scuzzy corner is so undeniably apparent to us when we are able to open our eyes to it. Unfortunately not so much for them.
This could be me writing about Tornado. This is why her sisters don’t want anything to do with her. Too many years of the same old behaviors. They do not fault me for trying, because I am her mother. Their boundaries are much more stringent, they want to see real change for a significant length of time. I don’t blame them. A particular sore spot for all of us is how she has abandoned her children. Now her grandchildren, all for a Bonnie and Clyde relationship with a man she hardly knows. They are both using and on the run together. The scuzzy corner revealed.
Me too. Admittedly. But I can’t live like this. I won’t. Tornado comes in like a wrecking ball and expects the family to respond as if nothing has happened. No remorse. She has never gotten far enough in recovery to hit that mark. Thanks Doris Day for the huge dose of “Que Sera, Sera”.
I will work towards being grateful for the happier times, it’s the only way out. And prayer. And hope. Hopefully I will come out of this a little wiser. Hopefully Tornado will too. That spot she holds in my heart is a bit more calloused.
Love and hugs
New Leaf
