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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 671349" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi [USER=19721]@Toughlovemom[/USER] ,</p><p>I'm sorry you are dealing with all the uncertainty that goes with having an adult difficult child.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, she does. My son was so convincing when he would lie to me and I fell for it over and over. In order to make someone believe the "lie" they first have to believe it themselves.</p><p>I got to the point with my son that if his lips were moving, he was lying. </p><p></p><p>You probably don't want to know. I found out from someone other than my son that he had tried crystal meth. I felt sick. I knew he smoked a lot of pot and drank but to find out he was using stuff like that shook me to my core. I don't know if he's still using that stuff, from what I've heard it can get a hold of you pretty fast.</p><p>I cannot dwell or worry about it as that will change nothing. My energy level is precious to me and I will no longer expend energy worrying because worry will never change a thing.</p><p>It's a tough reality to accept but I had to in order to let go and move on with my life.</p><p></p><p>That my friend is the ultimate question for every parent on this site. I have read stories about people who have pulled themselves out of some very dark places, so yes, any of our adult children can change but they have to want it, they have to become so tired of living the way they are.</p><p></p><p>If you are concerned about their safety then you may already have your answer. There's the question of physical safety, do you think she would harm them? There's also the question of mental safety, what environment are they living in, what is she exposing them to? You may have to make a difficult decision to call child protective services. </p><p></p><p>Oh I used to ask myself that same question. For me, I came to find that it really didn't matter. I know he did not learn it from me or my husband. Again, it comes down to what I was willing to expend my energy on. Even if I had an answer it would not change a thing.</p><p></p><p>Her choices and her behavior will dictate if she ends up in jail.</p><p></p><p>Again, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I'm glad you are here with us.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/staystrong.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":staystrong:" title="staystrong :staystrong:" data-shortname=":staystrong:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 671349, member: 18516"] Hi [USER=19721]@Toughlovemom[/USER] , I'm sorry you are dealing with all the uncertainty that goes with having an adult difficult child. Yes, she does. My son was so convincing when he would lie to me and I fell for it over and over. In order to make someone believe the "lie" they first have to believe it themselves. I got to the point with my son that if his lips were moving, he was lying. You probably don't want to know. I found out from someone other than my son that he had tried crystal meth. I felt sick. I knew he smoked a lot of pot and drank but to find out he was using stuff like that shook me to my core. I don't know if he's still using that stuff, from what I've heard it can get a hold of you pretty fast. I cannot dwell or worry about it as that will change nothing. My energy level is precious to me and I will no longer expend energy worrying because worry will never change a thing. It's a tough reality to accept but I had to in order to let go and move on with my life. That my friend is the ultimate question for every parent on this site. I have read stories about people who have pulled themselves out of some very dark places, so yes, any of our adult children can change but they have to want it, they have to become so tired of living the way they are. If you are concerned about their safety then you may already have your answer. There's the question of physical safety, do you think she would harm them? There's also the question of mental safety, what environment are they living in, what is she exposing them to? You may have to make a difficult decision to call child protective services. Oh I used to ask myself that same question. For me, I came to find that it really didn't matter. I know he did not learn it from me or my husband. Again, it comes down to what I was willing to expend my energy on. Even if I had an answer it would not change a thing. Her choices and her behavior will dictate if she ends up in jail. Again, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I'm glad you are here with us. :notalone::staystrong: [/QUOTE]
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