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It is getting worse
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<blockquote data-quote="orcaauntie" data-source="post: 461078" data-attributes="member: 12721"><p>I wasn't going to respond until Mom did. Yes, memeliza is my wonderful, strong and beautiful Mom. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Clearly she was very stressed and upset when she typed her post. It seems to me like she had a moment of weakness with Niece- probably because of Niece running off after being told "No" all week. All three days, Mon., Tues., and Weds. Yesterday seems to have been the worst since my parents have "had it". Mom has been doing very well with trying to remain calm and not fight back. </p><p></p><p>Another thing to note that I haven't mentioned is that Niece has stated many times that she feels like she "can't control" her anger at my Mom. She said she tries real hard then she just explodes. She says reading, drawing or listening to music doesn't help her. Also she has stated that she runs off because she got mad. However yesterday, that was not the case because she was not mad. Her and Mom had a good afternoon and she still chose to run off after being told "No", so I think that one may be an excuse. But I am concerned with her saying she cannot control her anger even after trying so hard. I worry there is something else buried in there and that is why I keep mentioning to Mom to get her into a Comprehensive Evaluation by a NEUROPSYCHOLOGIST. I don't know what type she had before, but we need a new one. She needs a new medication and I think, a more thorough and proper evaluation. and diagnosis. ODD is not a true diagnosis as I've learned from all of you.. so there is some other underlying issue- other than ODD and ADD. </p><p></p><p>I am hoping Niece being spoken to by the cop will change her again. It worked last time- but she was also younger and not feeling the way she obviously is now.</p><p></p><p>DDD- Thank you for your response and tips. I hope Mom takes them seriously and tries them. Sometimes all it takes is taking a DEEP BREATH and telling yourself something to keep calm in a moment of weakness. Do any of you suggest that since Mom did smack niece across the face, that maybe she take an opportunity to apologize to her? Or should she not bother with that? </p><p></p><p> I only ask because I agree with you, DDD, that physical aggression will get you nowhere. I remember when things got physical with my Sister- she would throw a huge fit, throw things, hit things, break things, and hit myself and my parents.. and we'd almost always "fight" back to try and stop her. We wouldn't HIT her, more so try and restrain her to get her to stop and hold her arms and legs back. I've even gotten in th middle of fights with her ex-boyfriend (the kids' father) because they would get physical and if it was in front of me I'd restrain her to try and keep her from doing something that would get her arrested. In essence- that was probably encouraging her to be physically aggressive and only lent itself to escalating her self-destructive behavior.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="orcaauntie, post: 461078, member: 12721"] I wasn't going to respond until Mom did. Yes, memeliza is my wonderful, strong and beautiful Mom. :) Clearly she was very stressed and upset when she typed her post. It seems to me like she had a moment of weakness with Niece- probably because of Niece running off after being told "No" all week. All three days, Mon., Tues., and Weds. Yesterday seems to have been the worst since my parents have "had it". Mom has been doing very well with trying to remain calm and not fight back. Another thing to note that I haven't mentioned is that Niece has stated many times that she feels like she "can't control" her anger at my Mom. She said she tries real hard then she just explodes. She says reading, drawing or listening to music doesn't help her. Also she has stated that she runs off because she got mad. However yesterday, that was not the case because she was not mad. Her and Mom had a good afternoon and she still chose to run off after being told "No", so I think that one may be an excuse. But I am concerned with her saying she cannot control her anger even after trying so hard. I worry there is something else buried in there and that is why I keep mentioning to Mom to get her into a Comprehensive Evaluation by a NEUROPSYCHOLOGIST. I don't know what type she had before, but we need a new one. She needs a new medication and I think, a more thorough and proper evaluation. and diagnosis. ODD is not a true diagnosis as I've learned from all of you.. so there is some other underlying issue- other than ODD and ADD. I am hoping Niece being spoken to by the cop will change her again. It worked last time- but she was also younger and not feeling the way she obviously is now. DDD- Thank you for your response and tips. I hope Mom takes them seriously and tries them. Sometimes all it takes is taking a DEEP BREATH and telling yourself something to keep calm in a moment of weakness. Do any of you suggest that since Mom did smack niece across the face, that maybe she take an opportunity to apologize to her? Or should she not bother with that? I only ask because I agree with you, DDD, that physical aggression will get you nowhere. I remember when things got physical with my Sister- she would throw a huge fit, throw things, hit things, break things, and hit myself and my parents.. and we'd almost always "fight" back to try and stop her. We wouldn't HIT her, more so try and restrain her to get her to stop and hold her arms and legs back. I've even gotten in th middle of fights with her ex-boyfriend (the kids' father) because they would get physical and if it was in front of me I'd restrain her to try and keep her from doing something that would get her arrested. In essence- that was probably encouraging her to be physically aggressive and only lent itself to escalating her self-destructive behavior. [/QUOTE]
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