Today easy child did show up, I assumed she would. There is this small part of her that still loves a part of us, our home life, me difficult child etc. our overall dynamic which is alot of humor, sarcasm is big with us. It's gotta be with all we have riding. it's our coping mechanism. We were headed out for manicures and lunch, easy child joined us. If you remember I had talked about emailing easy child first just to let her know listen the gift today for your birthday is time with your sister and I. yet the therapist said no, others etc. One thing I can say is, supports awesome, therapists help connect dots. Yet there comes a time when we "know" what the right and wrong thing is to do. Our instincts scream out to us, and if we get really quiet we can hear it. It may not always be what we would like to hear, yet it's def. there. I did not trust my instincts on that email, I was hoping to save difficult child from any drama today. So, clearly i did not send it. Lunch was great, manicures were odd. There was alot of awkward silence, mundane conversation etc. Yet by lunch easy child and I were finishing eachother's sentences, saying things at the same time. Its' what it's been like with us since the child could talk. We look the same, our personalities are quite similar, same sense of humor. than it began..... long story short it got so bad i had to threaten calling the cops to get her out of my home. she cursed me, repeatedly, threw a phone. She had both middle fingers up at me, screaming names, insults, you name it. Yes all because she did not get a gift, or her birth certificate which I had lost in our recent move and she wanted ordered. I was a bit shaken, knowing full well yesterday this would be the outcome today. yet difficult child took a very hard hit today. She cried hysterically while easy child went on, than easy child's ending remark the famous i hate you you ************ (use your imagation), i do not want to know you anymore you loser ofa mom. I'm going back to my real home. difficult child ofcourse took it as she was saying same to her. It was very sad to watch difficult child be hurt so very badly by this child. Yes child, 18 does not make this child an adult. I know 40 year old's who are still children. Point being, instincts are huge, they should be respected and really listened to. Those little voices in our heads that are clearly stating hey do this or that. That's our inner selves talking the logical side of the brain trying to break through the emotions. Listen to them!!! It'll take days to heal from this most recent hit. Ofcourse new rules will be applied now as far as any future contact with my daughter, since her actions cannot be predicted totally and her anger is at an uncontrollable point. This is a girl who needs serious help. Now without her stepdad and her mom buying her clothes, supplying phones, financial aid for school, anything let's see what her fill in mom will do for her. I said easy child this is all you babe, this is not I. You aren't taking care of you and that's why your doing all that your doing. Home is where the heart is, the people that love you, not the place you lay and rest your head. Someday you'll see and realize, the apologies will flow, your heart will be sad. it'll come someday. clearly not today, and not until you deal with your inner deamons and baggage and clean it up. so that was my mothers' day...... just as i expected it to be. too bad time cannot be reversed i had sent that email and than she would of simply chosen not to join us. difficult child could of been saved. all my fault, yet as with anything else it's all a learning process. One thing I will say though, not giving her a birthday gift, changing my approach towards her is the absolute best birthday gift I can give her right now. difficult child was confused and I told her sometimes loving someone alot means doing what's right for them and also very hard for them. I said difficult child eventually babygirl somethings' gotta give with your sister. she can't go on this way forever. It may be returning home, or it may be reaching a real rock bottom and cleaning her act up even if she continues to live where she is.