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Parent Emeritus
it was exactly as i suspected....
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 426520" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>My take on this is a little different. I tend to think the point of letting difficult child know ahead of time that she wasn't getting a gift except for time with the family was so she wouldn't show up expecting one. I suspect that maybe you didn't let her know ahead of time because you wanted her to show up and felt like she wouldn't if she wasn't going to get a gift. Am I interpreting your post right- in that you are sorry you didn't get her a gift and listened to the therapist? What specifically about "listening to your instinct" instead of what the therapist said are referring to when you say you're glad you listened to your instincts? Wasn't it the therapist who said not to get her anything more than family time?</p><p></p><p>We all have maternal instincts but there are times when it is better to listen to the therapist and not the little voice inside your head. Think difficult child'dom here- it's the very fact that they refuse to listen to anyone other than their own distorted thinking that keeps them in difficult child'dom. Now as parents, we often do struggle with fighting for what we believe is best for our kids and knowing when it's advice we should take over our own habitual tendencies in thought, if that makes any sense.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you had some enjoyable time and were able to handle the rough part without it getting any worse than it did.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 426520, member: 3699"] My take on this is a little different. I tend to think the point of letting difficult child know ahead of time that she wasn't getting a gift except for time with the family was so she wouldn't show up expecting one. I suspect that maybe you didn't let her know ahead of time because you wanted her to show up and felt like she wouldn't if she wasn't going to get a gift. Am I interpreting your post right- in that you are sorry you didn't get her a gift and listened to the therapist? What specifically about "listening to your instinct" instead of what the therapist said are referring to when you say you're glad you listened to your instincts? Wasn't it the therapist who said not to get her anything more than family time? We all have maternal instincts but there are times when it is better to listen to the therapist and not the little voice inside your head. Think difficult child'dom here- it's the very fact that they refuse to listen to anyone other than their own distorted thinking that keeps them in difficult child'dom. Now as parents, we often do struggle with fighting for what we believe is best for our kids and knowing when it's advice we should take over our own habitual tendencies in thought, if that makes any sense. I'm glad you had some enjoyable time and were able to handle the rough part without it getting any worse than it did. [/QUOTE]
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it was exactly as i suspected....
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