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Parent Emeritus
it was exactly as i suspected....
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 426841" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>If she comes home, Jena, what 'pull' do you have to make things better? You have less than you did, because ready or not, she is legally an adult and do whatever she darn well pleases. </p><p>Think about your ultimate goal for all of your kids. Take out all the riff raff and boil it down to the meat of the matter. What does that leave you? Every parent here has the same hope and goal for their child, be it a easy child or difficult child...a functional, hopefully happy, adult. </p><p>How, exactly, is 'home' a requirement to meet that ultimate goal?</p><p>Childhood ends. It's over. Your relationship with your adult child changes. You cant stop it. You hope it's a growing process that happens slowly over time. As you now know, and hav read that you are FAR from alone, it doesn't always happen like that. </p><p>I would encourage you to really think about this. Talk to your therapist. Find out how 'home' fits into this picture. Really fits.</p><p>I'm not saying she can't come home, tho I don't think it's a good idea. But, if down the line she were ready to get HERSELF some help (she has to want to change), and the situation was such that your home could be available, it would be worth considering. But making where she lives a requirement for her getting the help she needs? It's just not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 426841, member: 1848"] If she comes home, Jena, what 'pull' do you have to make things better? You have less than you did, because ready or not, she is legally an adult and do whatever she darn well pleases. Think about your ultimate goal for all of your kids. Take out all the riff raff and boil it down to the meat of the matter. What does that leave you? Every parent here has the same hope and goal for their child, be it a easy child or difficult child...a functional, hopefully happy, adult. How, exactly, is 'home' a requirement to meet that ultimate goal? Childhood ends. It's over. Your relationship with your adult child changes. You cant stop it. You hope it's a growing process that happens slowly over time. As you now know, and hav read that you are FAR from alone, it doesn't always happen like that. I would encourage you to really think about this. Talk to your therapist. Find out how 'home' fits into this picture. Really fits. I'm not saying she can't come home, tho I don't think it's a good idea. But, if down the line she were ready to get HERSELF some help (she has to want to change), and the situation was such that your home could be available, it would be worth considering. But making where she lives a requirement for her getting the help she needs? It's just not. [/QUOTE]
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it was exactly as i suspected....
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