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<blockquote data-quote="Tiapet" data-source="post: 581288" data-attributes="member: 455"><p>Terry, she didn't exactly run in and slam door but never wants help when offered. Just likes to complain and be miserable. I did report it to the guidane counselor though as it took place in school. I know they don't really get involved in relationship issues but my thinking is 2 fold on it. First is that perhaps he could talk to this kid and maybe say hey, you could have done this more appropriate as to not directly try to hurt someone's feelings so badly (isn't that their job? I mean it really felt like a bullying type thing). The other thing I wondered and pointed out to him is that difficult child, with her serial dating is very strange. It's almost as if there is a line up of boys just waiting to date her. You know like there is a contest or underground thing going on to date her and see who can dump her in mean ways and upset her (school pretty much knows she has issues based on her behaviors as everyone makes comments on how she acts "odd"). I even said this exact wording to the guidance counselor that it felt like there was some kind of contest with these boys on who was next and how they were going to dump her as it's progressively getting worse each time in how they are doing it! Each time they will tell her how she is odd or a freak and then some other mean thing in dumping her. She's not allowed to date at all but she does this at school behind my back. She is very well developed (overly actually) for her age however she is not promiscuous and just recently had her first kiss only (if you call it that). So I know that they aren't "getting anything" anything from her, though who knows what kind of nasty rumors they may be spreading? She just doesn't "get it", or anything when she's been spoken to about relationships, etc...She just won't stop. She craves attention so badly. She's even turned to girls also! Now I don't believe for one minute her she gets true feelings towards them (unlike older difficult child). In this house it wouldn't matter because we are open thinkers and accepting anyway.</p><p></p><p>Funny thing in a good way but it's not going well now, is that once we put her back on the Prozac for the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) control it is working and helping all the different manifestations of that including her eating issues. But not, she's NOT eating much. I do make it a point, and it's become a battle, that at dinner time she must eat a little and be balanced. It truly is a LITTLE but she MUST eat! She has dropped a bit of weight (I'll find out the # today) from being like this so now we may be going anorexic versus her binge/hoarding issue we had! I worry about that as my sister was anorexic for years. I know all the issues surrounding that so I try to be very careful of it. In difficult child's case she is very big into control but I also know that this is now medication causing the opposite effect since it's able to shut off her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) thinking of it. She "most" times is compliant and will eat what I ask of her, I just can't be sure she is actually eating the prepared lunch she takes to school (she won't eat school lunch and never has). I am reasonably sure she does as it's "good" stuff in her eyes bordering on junk type stuff (nutello on cinnamon flavored fish shaped bread -you can buy this! a fruit cereal bar, some sort of cookie or little debbie cake and often crackers/goldfish and or fruit/fruit roll up, and then a bottle of water she puts mio stuff in). All things she loves! So lunch may not be the "greatest" as it has more empty calories then not but she's a teen girl and I think it's a reasonable one for her and she doesn't eat all that at once. She will eat cereal bar either on bus to school or some point during school morning and the other snacks she will pick at during day.</p><p></p><p>A little back history now on mr. busy. He doesn't like getting showers (unless he is on a mission to get in trouble with big plastic garbage bag in there, don't ask!). If I'm lucky I get him in every other day mandatorily. Once in a while it might be the 3rd day but I'm pretty strict on this. I buy him his own shampoo and conditioner, he has to used head and shoulders due to dandruff, his own body wash and deodorant (he only likes axe!). While I can't garauntee he is faithful about putting on the deodorant I know at least has it and at times does use it. The issue becomes changing of clothes if I don't catch him and more specifically his zippered sweatshirt! He has 5-6 of these so there is no reason he can't change out everyday as laundry is done almost daily too. He is one of these kids that no matter the weather he feels "safe/comfortable" wearing the zippered up sweatshirt at all times. Sooooo....I am so angry as his is worker. His case manager for SPED at school met with his worker a couple of days ago after worker had been sitting with mr busy talking. Mr busy got up out of the chair and went back to class and SPED case manager sat down in chair and made a comment about the smell of BO. Worker told the case manager that it was one of the many issues we have been working on with difficult child as well as many of his other clients. That simple, nothing more or less. She then asked if he wanted her to say anything to him. He said he thought that hygiene would have long been covered in one of many classes at school by now, which I know it has.</p><p></p><p>So that afternoon difficult child comes home really angry at me and says "thanks to you and worker Sped case manager gave me these" (not sure if in front of anyone or pulled him aside. It was a can and a stick deodorant! Apparently the case manager also told him that worker told difficult child that he doesn't take showers or use deodorant, which is NOT what was ever said nor something I ever said to Sped person! Worker is irate as it jeopardizes the client trust relationship too, which it does. It takes time to establish such a thing and for this case manager to do something like this is just wrong and to state these words that were never said by either of us was also blatant lies to difficult child. She didn't even ask worker if difficult child took showers, how often, if he used deodorant or had a problem with it, nothing. For all she didn't know, he could have had a medical issue with BO and she just made him feel awful!</p><p></p><p>Oh and get this, his math teacher sent me a request from the schools email address to be part of her "professional network" on linked in! First of all "professional network"? Ummm no! This is teacher/parent not professional, secondly I am disabled and do not work therefor no "profession" to claim really and finally, this is a class he is failing and with a teacher whom I have never saw eye to eye with and she does not work well with me on anything. Why is she asking for this???? I'm of the conspiracy thinking mode and wondering just what is she up to? Did she think somehow she would connect on there and go digging around through connections or something? Maybe not but it's just REALLY strange!! To say the least.</p><p></p><p>I've really had it with this school. The ONLY person I like there is the VP that actually helps us. There has been so many issues there. I can't wait for May and to be done with it!</p><p></p><p>If I thought I could somehow do homeschooling or another kind of schooling for Ms. Queen I would only she is definitely one who NEEDS social outlets that school gives her (mr. busy does not but I know he gains benefits for having it).</p><p></p><p>I have to manage to the end of the year. I know it will begin again next year but I'm at my limit for this year already. Step dad's surgery is the 28th. We find out the extent and stage he is at then. They've told us it is confined to the Bladder for now but he has "several" areas of it in there. That's partial good news. However it can still be at a bad stage. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p></p><p>My mother is being her difficult self, as she has been for life. I try to bite my tongue a lot. I think she's actually gotten a lot worse then she used to be but since I didn't "live" with her I didn't know it. There are just things you find out when you start living with people. Like how much complaining she does over everything. Unless she does the cooking, nothing is ever right as far as taste, consistency, how it's made, etc.! And if she does the cooking, well then she complains how SHE HAD to cook! Ugh...can't win. Oh and timing of when we eat. She wants to eat around 5 which is impossible in this house, absolutely impossible. If we happen to end up eating as late as 8, well then she won't eat at all and complain about that when she is free to make herself anything she'd like from the food in the house but she won't. It's just crazy. It's like....I'm not going to do anything to fix the problem that I can because I'd rather complain about it. I don't understand that concept, do you?</p><p></p><p>And the absolute worst thing that is happening that bothers me terribly..........how she is so down on my step dad because he's "not there for her because afterall, she's going through this too" she says things like, if you die I'm still going to be here and have to deal with it (that just sounds awful to someone who could potentially die to me)....which he IS there for her all the time but because he doesn't want to talk, talk, talk, talk about it non-stop this is how she feels. If anything she's not being there for him with all her whining and complaining. He retreats off to a quiet area, even comes by me to avoid her! LOL I gave them each a number for them to get support. Him for one on one and her one on one to talk about all this and what they are going through as well as group cancer support. </p><p></p><p>I really think that beyond BiPolar (BP)/Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) my mother has borderline personality issues too. Probably a little of each of the different types if that is possible?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiapet, post: 581288, member: 455"] Terry, she didn't exactly run in and slam door but never wants help when offered. Just likes to complain and be miserable. I did report it to the guidane counselor though as it took place in school. I know they don't really get involved in relationship issues but my thinking is 2 fold on it. First is that perhaps he could talk to this kid and maybe say hey, you could have done this more appropriate as to not directly try to hurt someone's feelings so badly (isn't that their job? I mean it really felt like a bullying type thing). The other thing I wondered and pointed out to him is that difficult child, with her serial dating is very strange. It's almost as if there is a line up of boys just waiting to date her. You know like there is a contest or underground thing going on to date her and see who can dump her in mean ways and upset her (school pretty much knows she has issues based on her behaviors as everyone makes comments on how she acts "odd"). I even said this exact wording to the guidance counselor that it felt like there was some kind of contest with these boys on who was next and how they were going to dump her as it's progressively getting worse each time in how they are doing it! Each time they will tell her how she is odd or a freak and then some other mean thing in dumping her. She's not allowed to date at all but she does this at school behind my back. She is very well developed (overly actually) for her age however she is not promiscuous and just recently had her first kiss only (if you call it that). So I know that they aren't "getting anything" anything from her, though who knows what kind of nasty rumors they may be spreading? She just doesn't "get it", or anything when she's been spoken to about relationships, etc...She just won't stop. She craves attention so badly. She's even turned to girls also! Now I don't believe for one minute her she gets true feelings towards them (unlike older difficult child). In this house it wouldn't matter because we are open thinkers and accepting anyway. Funny thing in a good way but it's not going well now, is that once we put her back on the Prozac for the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) control it is working and helping all the different manifestations of that including her eating issues. But not, she's NOT eating much. I do make it a point, and it's become a battle, that at dinner time she must eat a little and be balanced. It truly is a LITTLE but she MUST eat! She has dropped a bit of weight (I'll find out the # today) from being like this so now we may be going anorexic versus her binge/hoarding issue we had! I worry about that as my sister was anorexic for years. I know all the issues surrounding that so I try to be very careful of it. In difficult child's case she is very big into control but I also know that this is now medication causing the opposite effect since it's able to shut off her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) thinking of it. She "most" times is compliant and will eat what I ask of her, I just can't be sure she is actually eating the prepared lunch she takes to school (she won't eat school lunch and never has). I am reasonably sure she does as it's "good" stuff in her eyes bordering on junk type stuff (nutello on cinnamon flavored fish shaped bread -you can buy this! a fruit cereal bar, some sort of cookie or little debbie cake and often crackers/goldfish and or fruit/fruit roll up, and then a bottle of water she puts mio stuff in). All things she loves! So lunch may not be the "greatest" as it has more empty calories then not but she's a teen girl and I think it's a reasonable one for her and she doesn't eat all that at once. She will eat cereal bar either on bus to school or some point during school morning and the other snacks she will pick at during day. A little back history now on mr. busy. He doesn't like getting showers (unless he is on a mission to get in trouble with big plastic garbage bag in there, don't ask!). If I'm lucky I get him in every other day mandatorily. Once in a while it might be the 3rd day but I'm pretty strict on this. I buy him his own shampoo and conditioner, he has to used head and shoulders due to dandruff, his own body wash and deodorant (he only likes axe!). While I can't garauntee he is faithful about putting on the deodorant I know at least has it and at times does use it. The issue becomes changing of clothes if I don't catch him and more specifically his zippered sweatshirt! He has 5-6 of these so there is no reason he can't change out everyday as laundry is done almost daily too. He is one of these kids that no matter the weather he feels "safe/comfortable" wearing the zippered up sweatshirt at all times. Sooooo....I am so angry as his is worker. His case manager for SPED at school met with his worker a couple of days ago after worker had been sitting with mr busy talking. Mr busy got up out of the chair and went back to class and SPED case manager sat down in chair and made a comment about the smell of BO. Worker told the case manager that it was one of the many issues we have been working on with difficult child as well as many of his other clients. That simple, nothing more or less. She then asked if he wanted her to say anything to him. He said he thought that hygiene would have long been covered in one of many classes at school by now, which I know it has. So that afternoon difficult child comes home really angry at me and says "thanks to you and worker Sped case manager gave me these" (not sure if in front of anyone or pulled him aside. It was a can and a stick deodorant! Apparently the case manager also told him that worker told difficult child that he doesn't take showers or use deodorant, which is NOT what was ever said nor something I ever said to Sped person! Worker is irate as it jeopardizes the client trust relationship too, which it does. It takes time to establish such a thing and for this case manager to do something like this is just wrong and to state these words that were never said by either of us was also blatant lies to difficult child. She didn't even ask worker if difficult child took showers, how often, if he used deodorant or had a problem with it, nothing. For all she didn't know, he could have had a medical issue with BO and she just made him feel awful! Oh and get this, his math teacher sent me a request from the schools email address to be part of her "professional network" on linked in! First of all "professional network"? Ummm no! This is teacher/parent not professional, secondly I am disabled and do not work therefor no "profession" to claim really and finally, this is a class he is failing and with a teacher whom I have never saw eye to eye with and she does not work well with me on anything. Why is she asking for this???? I'm of the conspiracy thinking mode and wondering just what is she up to? Did she think somehow she would connect on there and go digging around through connections or something? Maybe not but it's just REALLY strange!! To say the least. I've really had it with this school. The ONLY person I like there is the VP that actually helps us. There has been so many issues there. I can't wait for May and to be done with it! If I thought I could somehow do homeschooling or another kind of schooling for Ms. Queen I would only she is definitely one who NEEDS social outlets that school gives her (mr. busy does not but I know he gains benefits for having it). I have to manage to the end of the year. I know it will begin again next year but I'm at my limit for this year already. Step dad's surgery is the 28th. We find out the extent and stage he is at then. They've told us it is confined to the Bladder for now but he has "several" areas of it in there. That's partial good news. However it can still be at a bad stage. :( My mother is being her difficult self, as she has been for life. I try to bite my tongue a lot. I think she's actually gotten a lot worse then she used to be but since I didn't "live" with her I didn't know it. There are just things you find out when you start living with people. Like how much complaining she does over everything. Unless she does the cooking, nothing is ever right as far as taste, consistency, how it's made, etc.! And if she does the cooking, well then she complains how SHE HAD to cook! Ugh...can't win. Oh and timing of when we eat. She wants to eat around 5 which is impossible in this house, absolutely impossible. If we happen to end up eating as late as 8, well then she won't eat at all and complain about that when she is free to make herself anything she'd like from the food in the house but she won't. It's just crazy. It's like....I'm not going to do anything to fix the problem that I can because I'd rather complain about it. I don't understand that concept, do you? And the absolute worst thing that is happening that bothers me terribly..........how she is so down on my step dad because he's "not there for her because afterall, she's going through this too" she says things like, if you die I'm still going to be here and have to deal with it (that just sounds awful to someone who could potentially die to me)....which he IS there for her all the time but because he doesn't want to talk, talk, talk, talk about it non-stop this is how she feels. If anything she's not being there for him with all her whining and complaining. He retreats off to a quiet area, even comes by me to avoid her! LOL I gave them each a number for them to get support. Him for one on one and her one on one to talk about all this and what they are going through as well as group cancer support. I really think that beyond BiPolar (BP)/Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) my mother has borderline personality issues too. Probably a little of each of the different types if that is possible? [/QUOTE]
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