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It's falling apart
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<blockquote data-quote="Alejandra" data-source="post: 713928" data-attributes="member: 21917"><p>Recoveringenabler, I love everything you said because I am still working on this myself with my 34 year old daughter and like you said is not an easy choice to let go but I feel I am in a much better place I was months ago, I am getting sessions with a therapist and she is helping a lot but the problem I'm having is that I am detaching from her drama , I just find difficult to detach with love... what is that even means? </p><p></p><p>An example... I get a text from her saying that she is stressing out a little because she doesn't have a job, but she apply everyday and she thinks she is doing her best... I just let it go..next day she gets a call from a job , passed the two test she have to take , gets an interview and gets offer the job! Now she text me saying ... now I'm not sure if I want it...and all this excuses why she doesn't want the job, ask me ...what do you think? And I stay calm and just said to her...well, I'm sure you'll figure it out ...and she insist , but what do you think? I dont even respond, because what should I said? I'm not going to engage telling her what I'm really think ....so, this is my problem , is this detaching with love? Because it doesn't feel like it is...still affects or bothers me knowing that she never make good choices and she wants a respond from me...How do I get to the point where she said anything she wants and doesn't bother me at all or we will never get to that point? I just want to be able to live my life in peace and I feel that as long as I know what's going on in her life I won't have peace but is the solution to never see or talk to her again? Is terrible to said but I have wish that many times... and is a very sad feeling because she is my daughter and I love her but I don't love her chaotic full of drama life and this how she lives on a daily basis...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Alejandra, post: 713928, member: 21917"] Recoveringenabler, I love everything you said because I am still working on this myself with my 34 year old daughter and like you said is not an easy choice to let go but I feel I am in a much better place I was months ago, I am getting sessions with a therapist and she is helping a lot but the problem I'm having is that I am detaching from her drama , I just find difficult to detach with love... what is that even means? An example... I get a text from her saying that she is stressing out a little because she doesn't have a job, but she apply everyday and she thinks she is doing her best... I just let it go..next day she gets a call from a job , passed the two test she have to take , gets an interview and gets offer the job! Now she text me saying ... now I'm not sure if I want it...and all this excuses why she doesn't want the job, ask me ...what do you think? And I stay calm and just said to her...well, I'm sure you'll figure it out ...and she insist , but what do you think? I dont even respond, because what should I said? I'm not going to engage telling her what I'm really think ....so, this is my problem , is this detaching with love? Because it doesn't feel like it is...still affects or bothers me knowing that she never make good choices and she wants a respond from me...How do I get to the point where she said anything she wants and doesn't bother me at all or we will never get to that point? I just want to be able to live my life in peace and I feel that as long as I know what's going on in her life I won't have peace but is the solution to never see or talk to her again? Is terrible to said but I have wish that many times... and is a very sad feeling because she is my daughter and I love her but I don't love her chaotic full of drama life and this how she lives on a daily basis... [/QUOTE]
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