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Substance Abuse
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<blockquote data-quote="everywoman" data-source="post: 147962" data-attributes="member: 1436"><p>Amen, Amen! Mikey for months we heard you rant about what you were "going" to do. I have waited for a long time for you to get to the point of action. </p><p></p><p>husband and I, while still not on the same page, have agreed to disagree about life with a difficult child. Years ago, when he (husband) went for treatment, I started my own bank account. All monies are kept seperate. We split the bills. He pays his portion, I pay mine. If he chooses to blow his money on helping difficult child---I don't say a word. It's his to do as he pleases (after he pays his portion of the bills.) I do not give him any if he is short because of difficult child. It saves a lot of arguments. I'm not seen as the bad guy anymore. </p><p></p><p>If it came down to it, husband knows I will leave. He loves me enough to keep difficult child in check. difficult child knows if he steals from me or uses my account illegaglly that he will face charges. I've already proved that.</p><p></p><p>It's hard to admit you don't like your own child. I love him. But I don't like his attitude, his work ethic, his values, his friends, his choices, his drug use. I love my husband. I don't like his enabling difficult child--but I can't make his choices for him.</p><p></p><p>Keep detaching. Detach from the situation with difficult child without detaching from the family. It's hard, but it is doable. Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="everywoman, post: 147962, member: 1436"] Amen, Amen! Mikey for months we heard you rant about what you were "going" to do. I have waited for a long time for you to get to the point of action. husband and I, while still not on the same page, have agreed to disagree about life with a difficult child. Years ago, when he (husband) went for treatment, I started my own bank account. All monies are kept seperate. We split the bills. He pays his portion, I pay mine. If he chooses to blow his money on helping difficult child---I don't say a word. It's his to do as he pleases (after he pays his portion of the bills.) I do not give him any if he is short because of difficult child. It saves a lot of arguments. I'm not seen as the bad guy anymore. If it came down to it, husband knows I will leave. He loves me enough to keep difficult child in check. difficult child knows if he steals from me or uses my account illegaglly that he will face charges. I've already proved that. It's hard to admit you don't like your own child. I love him. But I don't like his attitude, his work ethic, his values, his friends, his choices, his drug use. I love my husband. I don't like his enabling difficult child--but I can't make his choices for him. Keep detaching. Detach from the situation with difficult child without detaching from the family. It's hard, but it is doable. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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