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<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 148002" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p>I've thought pretty hard about this, and when I get the "you don't love me because you're not doing what I want line", I remember this:</p><p></p><p>As my son, he is entitled to all the love I can give him, without any preconditions. He has that, because love is truly wanting - and committing - to what's best for your loved one.</p><p></p><p><em><strong>...I will never stop loving my son, no matter how much it hurts.</strong></em></p><p></p><p>As my son, he deserves the benefit of the doubt; trust is given without asking, and is his to lose. By his own actions and lack of respect for his parents and household, he has lost my trust and must now earn it back. </p><p></p><p><em><strong>...But just because I don't trust him, that doesn't mean I don't love him.</strong></em></p><p></p><p>As my son, he is entitled to be treated with respect. Respect is given for how you conduct yourself and your life. By his conduct, his actions, and how he treats those who love him (and deserve better), he has lost my respect and must earn it back. </p><p></p><p><em><strong>...But just because I don't respect him, that doesn't mean that I don't love him.</strong></em></p><p></p><p>As my son, he is right to feel entitled to support - physical, mental, emotional, and monetary. Supporting your child is an expectation that all civilized societies demand of parents, and a responsibility that nearly all parents feel obligated to meet. However, once your child becomes an adult, the responsibility for support is no longer there, other than what the parents choose to continue providing. </p><p></p><p>Any and all support I've given McWeedy has been either turned against me, or has been used to support his acting out; therefore, I will no longer support him because it is only making his situation worse. When he changes his life, and shows that he <em>deserves</em> my support, he will have it.</p><p></p><p><em><strong>...But just because I won't support him, it doesn't mean that I don't love him.</strong></em></p><p></p><p>And that is at the heart of my disagreement with wife. She can't fathom the concept that you can love someone unconditionally, even if you don't trust them, don't respect them, and won't support their every whim.</p><p></p><p>I love my son, and am doing what I feel is the best thing I can for him. wife disagrees. So be it.</p><p></p><p>Mikey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 148002, member: 3579"] I've thought pretty hard about this, and when I get the "you don't love me because you're not doing what I want line", I remember this: As my son, he is entitled to all the love I can give him, without any preconditions. He has that, because love is truly wanting - and committing - to what's best for your loved one. [I][B]...I will never stop loving my son, no matter how much it hurts.[/B][/I] As my son, he deserves the benefit of the doubt; trust is given without asking, and is his to lose. By his own actions and lack of respect for his parents and household, he has lost my trust and must now earn it back. [I][B]...But just because I don't trust him, that doesn't mean I don't love him.[/B][/I] As my son, he is entitled to be treated with respect. Respect is given for how you conduct yourself and your life. By his conduct, his actions, and how he treats those who love him (and deserve better), he has lost my respect and must earn it back. [I][B]...But just because I don't respect him, that doesn't mean that I don't love him.[/B][/I] As my son, he is right to feel entitled to support - physical, mental, emotional, and monetary. Supporting your child is an expectation that all civilized societies demand of parents, and a responsibility that nearly all parents feel obligated to meet. However, once your child becomes an adult, the responsibility for support is no longer there, other than what the parents choose to continue providing. Any and all support I've given McWeedy has been either turned against me, or has been used to support his acting out; therefore, I will no longer support him because it is only making his situation worse. When he changes his life, and shows that he [I]deserves[/I] my support, he will have it. [I][B]...But just because I won't support him, it doesn't mean that I don't love him.[/B][/I] And that is at the heart of my disagreement with wife. She can't fathom the concept that you can love someone unconditionally, even if you don't trust them, don't respect them, and won't support their every whim. I love my son, and am doing what I feel is the best thing I can for him. wife disagrees. So be it. Mikey [/QUOTE]
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