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General Parenting
It's Not Over - More Drama Today
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 512918" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Sorry here, too. My nerves are stretched to the breaking point right now (i'm hoping to get a little time to myself this weekend).</p><p></p><p>Getting off the bus and having an afterschool snack is the "usual" - that's why skipping snacks was a big warning sign.</p><p></p><p>My dilemma is always one of trying to maintain an even keel...Try not to react too much to postive OR negative - just maintain that calm. The personality disorder that everyone figures she has (but won't write down on paper until she turns 18) is Borderline. So I want my responses to be calm, even....NOT a conflict NOT, a confrontation (no matter how much husband thinks those might help) - but also not overly celebrating what should be ordinary responsibilities. If I praise her for not threatening suicide - I fear that becomes more of a bargaining chip to difficult child. If I watch for it - but say nothing....I think that's a better tactic. I let HER find an equilibrium without drawing too much attention to it. (Especially if she is fighting to maintain control of her emotions). You know yourself if you are trying not to cry, the WORST thing for anyone to do is give you that sympathetic look and ask if everything's OK - that will turn on the waterworks every time.</p><p></p><p>So my response was to "match" her energy level. Not too many questions - simple small talk. Quiet. Calm. No drama.</p><p></p><p>Interestingly - after I went to bed? difficult child tried to stir up some drama with husband...attitude, argumentative.</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure what that means. Quiet, calm with me - aggressive with husband.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 512918, member: 6546"] Sorry here, too. My nerves are stretched to the breaking point right now (i'm hoping to get a little time to myself this weekend). Getting off the bus and having an afterschool snack is the "usual" - that's why skipping snacks was a big warning sign. My dilemma is always one of trying to maintain an even keel...Try not to react too much to postive OR negative - just maintain that calm. The personality disorder that everyone figures she has (but won't write down on paper until she turns 18) is Borderline. So I want my responses to be calm, even....NOT a conflict NOT, a confrontation (no matter how much husband thinks those might help) - but also not overly celebrating what should be ordinary responsibilities. If I praise her for not threatening suicide - I fear that becomes more of a bargaining chip to difficult child. If I watch for it - but say nothing....I think that's a better tactic. I let HER find an equilibrium without drawing too much attention to it. (Especially if she is fighting to maintain control of her emotions). You know yourself if you are trying not to cry, the WORST thing for anyone to do is give you that sympathetic look and ask if everything's OK - that will turn on the waterworks every time. So my response was to "match" her energy level. Not too many questions - simple small talk. Quiet. Calm. No drama. Interestingly - after I went to bed? difficult child tried to stir up some drama with husband...attitude, argumentative. I'm not sure what that means. Quiet, calm with me - aggressive with husband. [/QUOTE]
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It's Not Over - More Drama Today
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