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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 287420" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I just got off the phone with her. According to her, I'm abusive and controlling just like my father and his parents. She said I never wanted difficult child and that he grew up listening to me say that and that's the problem. (All that is completely untrue.) And now I've done a horrible thing by making him the identified patient when it's really not him that has the problem. She said I owed her a big apology for being abusive and neglectful to her (??- I've been hearing that since I was 6 yo. by the way- she is the only person that has ever said my father was abusive. As far as neglectful- he was well-off financially and a very good provider. My mom was a stay at home mom and since my bro was not her bio-son, he spent a great deal of time at our grandparents' house so my mom then only had me and she still had hired help in the home part of the time. As far as controlling- it looks to me like she and my bro are the manipulative ones- they are the ones always trying to control and change me, not the other way around.).</p><p></p><p>She said I had taken him away from her and she was not going to take it lying down that she can't see him or talk to him. I finally got her to shut up long enough to tell her that he is incarcerated and cannot call or leave- I had told her this before. She said it was my fault and that I had wanted him put away. I told her (again) that if she wanted to visit him she would have to come up here and I would take her. She said she couldn't. I told her it was the judge that put difficult child in there.</p><p></p><p>She said I would pay for abusing her and being neglectful to her (??). She said she was not going to "leave me one blessed penny because I didn't deserve anything". She wanted to know the exact place and address where difficult child is and I told her that I would not give that info out. She said she was going to take steps to find out and she was going to start taking some action. I said nothing. She said she wanteed to know what I had done with difficult child - that she felt just like the Anthony's did. I told her that I was sure she wouldn't stop until everyone in the country thought I was as bad as the woman her killed her child but I couldn't help it if she wouldn't believe or trust me. She went back to me "beiing abusive and neglectful" and I told her that it wasn't true and I thought she was delusional. She asked what I had done with difficult child. I said I didn't do it- the judge did it and I have no control over the rules there. She said that it was me that called cops on him and I said that is true but I didn't sentence him. She said how did he get this sentence and I told her (again) that he had been on probation with a suspended sentence and got into trouble again. She said what did he do for me to call cops on him and I said I will not tell her. She said ok, I see, well thank you for your time, I will keep on until I find out (or something to that effect) and hung up.</p><p></p><p>Now, when I know that I have not been abusive or neglectful to her or difficult child, I don't think difficult child needs to be getting letters with stuff like this in them. The bigggest problem here is that when my bro told the GAL stuff like this when he was trying to get custody, the GAL went to court portraying me like that instead of lookoing into the allegations. Never mind that sd, dss, nor Department of Juvenile Justice saw reason to think any of it was true- the GAL thinks I am the problem because of this stuff. My mother probably can stir up enough to find an address for difficult child and write him, but I don't think it's in his best interest to hear this carp and have someone else trying to convince him that I was an unfit mother and his problems are my fault.</p><p></p><p>She says my bro should never have stirred stuff up, but she is doing the same thing. Now my nerves are already shot for the day. Am I the only person that thinks I'm not the biggest problem in this dysfunctional family?</p><p></p><p>Somewhere in there she insinuated that she would try to have him live with her when he gets out and that she was going to make sure he knew that it was my fault that he had no family in his life. (I don't think it's me doing the alienation.) She also said that she had wanted difficult child to live with her long beofre it got to this point. (What she had told me was that if he had to have a place to go, she guessed she would take him if she had to and that she could "put up with anything" for a few years. I told her then that she "never had to put up with my child".) Just wait unitl the day (if it ever comes) that she finds out why he's in there and then see if she's comfortable with him living with her at all- even if she will always blame me for it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 287420, member: 3699"] I just got off the phone with her. According to her, I'm abusive and controlling just like my father and his parents. She said I never wanted difficult child and that he grew up listening to me say that and that's the problem. (All that is completely untrue.) And now I've done a horrible thing by making him the identified patient when it's really not him that has the problem. She said I owed her a big apology for being abusive and neglectful to her (??- I've been hearing that since I was 6 yo. by the way- she is the only person that has ever said my father was abusive. As far as neglectful- he was well-off financially and a very good provider. My mom was a stay at home mom and since my bro was not her bio-son, he spent a great deal of time at our grandparents' house so my mom then only had me and she still had hired help in the home part of the time. As far as controlling- it looks to me like she and my bro are the manipulative ones- they are the ones always trying to control and change me, not the other way around.). She said I had taken him away from her and she was not going to take it lying down that she can't see him or talk to him. I finally got her to shut up long enough to tell her that he is incarcerated and cannot call or leave- I had told her this before. She said it was my fault and that I had wanted him put away. I told her (again) that if she wanted to visit him she would have to come up here and I would take her. She said she couldn't. I told her it was the judge that put difficult child in there. She said I would pay for abusing her and being neglectful to her (??). She said she was not going to "leave me one blessed penny because I didn't deserve anything". She wanted to know the exact place and address where difficult child is and I told her that I would not give that info out. She said she was going to take steps to find out and she was going to start taking some action. I said nothing. She said she wanteed to know what I had done with difficult child - that she felt just like the Anthony's did. I told her that I was sure she wouldn't stop until everyone in the country thought I was as bad as the woman her killed her child but I couldn't help it if she wouldn't believe or trust me. She went back to me "beiing abusive and neglectful" and I told her that it wasn't true and I thought she was delusional. She asked what I had done with difficult child. I said I didn't do it- the judge did it and I have no control over the rules there. She said that it was me that called cops on him and I said that is true but I didn't sentence him. She said how did he get this sentence and I told her (again) that he had been on probation with a suspended sentence and got into trouble again. She said what did he do for me to call cops on him and I said I will not tell her. She said ok, I see, well thank you for your time, I will keep on until I find out (or something to that effect) and hung up. Now, when I know that I have not been abusive or neglectful to her or difficult child, I don't think difficult child needs to be getting letters with stuff like this in them. The bigggest problem here is that when my bro told the GAL stuff like this when he was trying to get custody, the GAL went to court portraying me like that instead of lookoing into the allegations. Never mind that sd, dss, nor Department of Juvenile Justice saw reason to think any of it was true- the GAL thinks I am the problem because of this stuff. My mother probably can stir up enough to find an address for difficult child and write him, but I don't think it's in his best interest to hear this carp and have someone else trying to convince him that I was an unfit mother and his problems are my fault. She says my bro should never have stirred stuff up, but she is doing the same thing. Now my nerves are already shot for the day. Am I the only person that thinks I'm not the biggest problem in this dysfunctional family? Somewhere in there she insinuated that she would try to have him live with her when he gets out and that she was going to make sure he knew that it was my fault that he had no family in his life. (I don't think it's me doing the alienation.) She also said that she had wanted difficult child to live with her long beofre it got to this point. (What she had told me was that if he had to have a place to go, she guessed she would take him if she had to and that she could "put up with anything" for a few years. I told her then that she "never had to put up with my child".) Just wait unitl the day (if it ever comes) that she finds out why he's in there and then see if she's comfortable with him living with her at all- even if she will always blame me for it. [/QUOTE]
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