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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 526785"><p>Nancy,</p><p></p><p>I also really related to your post. I am a problem solver and I tend to stew about things until the problem is resolved in some way. The other night I had a lot of problems sleeping because of the news of my difficult child.... and his hanging up on me... and my feeling that i needed to do something. I finally got back to sleep after looking up stuff on the internet and I decided to call him in the morning. Once I talked to him, gave him options I relaxed some. Last night when I talked to him and it sounded like he is going to be discharged and end up back on the street... I had to kind of let go and let it happen.... but I knew my solution at that moment was to back off and so I slept last night.</p><p></p><p>Insane has it right part of it is acceptance... and for us it is acceptance that we have done all we can, we can't do anymore... and when it feels like there is something you can do then doing it. So I have been looking at some more info this afternoon and I may call my difficult child again tonight to give him a closer option.... I am doing that because i really think going from detox to the street is a huge mistake...so I want him to know he has options... but that is ALL I can do and if i do that I will sleep.</p><p></p><p>So I don't think the worry ever goes away...but as a problem solver part of it is figuring out what you can help solve and what you can't and when you can't that is the time to let go of trying to solve a problem that is not yours to solve.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 526785"] Nancy, I also really related to your post. I am a problem solver and I tend to stew about things until the problem is resolved in some way. The other night I had a lot of problems sleeping because of the news of my difficult child.... and his hanging up on me... and my feeling that i needed to do something. I finally got back to sleep after looking up stuff on the internet and I decided to call him in the morning. Once I talked to him, gave him options I relaxed some. Last night when I talked to him and it sounded like he is going to be discharged and end up back on the street... I had to kind of let go and let it happen.... but I knew my solution at that moment was to back off and so I slept last night. Insane has it right part of it is acceptance... and for us it is acceptance that we have done all we can, we can't do anymore... and when it feels like there is something you can do then doing it. So I have been looking at some more info this afternoon and I may call my difficult child again tonight to give him a closer option.... I am doing that because i really think going from detox to the street is a huge mistake...so I want him to know he has options... but that is ALL I can do and if i do that I will sleep. So I don't think the worry ever goes away...but as a problem solver part of it is figuring out what you can help solve and what you can't and when you can't that is the time to let go of trying to solve a problem that is not yours to solve. TL [/QUOTE]
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