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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 527239"><p>I am still pondering the whole acceptance thing...</p><p></p><p>and I think some of the disparity can be explained *a bit* by our difficult child's ages. It struck me (in reading these last few posts - haven't reread the whole of it) that there is a commonality between our "attitudes" that coincides with the ages of our difficult children...and even a bit with our relationships with our pcs...</p><p></p><p>I can only speak for myself, but I fully expected my difficult child to be somewhat dependent at age 20. We built the house we live in with having "adult children here" in mind. Fully expecting our kids (difficult child especially, though he was a easy child then) to come back home to live in between semesters, and maybe while in grad school. Certainly for a year or so post college. Regardless, the 18-22 years are usually transition years - between being dependent and independent -- and for myself (and I suspect a few others on this board) there was no transition. It was a cliff dive. So therein lies the struggle. It's normal to be patterning and influencing the path of a 18-22 (or even older) son or daughter to give them a healthy start into adulthood. It's part of the parental duty...in my world anyway. And my difficult child is certainly not on a healthy path...</p><p></p><p>So I sit on my hands, cover my mouth and hope that should I get that tiny glimmer that my kid wants and will accept my guidance (see PG's post on another thread, Kathy's post a few weeks ago) that I am ready to jump in with good and researched options,and give him the best advice. </p><p></p><p>I hope I am making sense</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 527239"] I am still pondering the whole acceptance thing... and I think some of the disparity can be explained *a bit* by our difficult child's ages. It struck me (in reading these last few posts - haven't reread the whole of it) that there is a commonality between our "attitudes" that coincides with the ages of our difficult children...and even a bit with our relationships with our pcs... I can only speak for myself, but I fully expected my difficult child to be somewhat dependent at age 20. We built the house we live in with having "adult children here" in mind. Fully expecting our kids (difficult child especially, though he was a easy child then) to come back home to live in between semesters, and maybe while in grad school. Certainly for a year or so post college. Regardless, the 18-22 years are usually transition years - between being dependent and independent -- and for myself (and I suspect a few others on this board) there was no transition. It was a cliff dive. So therein lies the struggle. It's normal to be patterning and influencing the path of a 18-22 (or even older) son or daughter to give them a healthy start into adulthood. It's part of the parental duty...in my world anyway. And my difficult child is certainly not on a healthy path... So I sit on my hands, cover my mouth and hope that should I get that tiny glimmer that my kid wants and will accept my guidance (see PG's post on another thread, Kathy's post a few weeks ago) that I am ready to jump in with good and researched options,and give him the best advice. I hope I am making sense [/QUOTE]
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