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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 527302"><p>Nancy,</p><p></p><p>I don't know as I am still thinking this through too.... but I don't think it is accepting the drug addict for what they are doing because what they are doing, the way they are behaving is unacceptable. I think somehow it is loving the person they are inside, the person you once knew without the drugs. Gosh it is confusing isn't it?</p><p></p><p>Someone said to me once that a drug addicts primary relationship is with the drugs not with you... so it is really impossible to have any kind of real relationship with someone who is using because the relationship with you will not be their focus, their focus is the drugs. I think this is true.</p><p></p><p>And yet what RE said makes sense to me... but it means somehow separating the person from their actions. We can love and accept the person but we can hate and not accept what they are doing to themselves and others. I guess for me this means changing my thinkingi from my son IS an a*** to my son ACTS like an a***.</p><p></p><p>I also think drawing boundaries around behavior absolutely makes sense. So no you dont need to see or interact with your daughter while she is using drugs. However you can let her know you love her and will see her or interact with her when she is not using. </p><p></p><p>Does any of this make sense? I am thinking this through as I write. I don't have it figured out.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 527302"] Nancy, I don't know as I am still thinking this through too.... but I don't think it is accepting the drug addict for what they are doing because what they are doing, the way they are behaving is unacceptable. I think somehow it is loving the person they are inside, the person you once knew without the drugs. Gosh it is confusing isn't it? Someone said to me once that a drug addicts primary relationship is with the drugs not with you... so it is really impossible to have any kind of real relationship with someone who is using because the relationship with you will not be their focus, their focus is the drugs. I think this is true. And yet what RE said makes sense to me... but it means somehow separating the person from their actions. We can love and accept the person but we can hate and not accept what they are doing to themselves and others. I guess for me this means changing my thinkingi from my son IS an a*** to my son ACTS like an a***. I also think drawing boundaries around behavior absolutely makes sense. So no you dont need to see or interact with your daughter while she is using drugs. However you can let her know you love her and will see her or interact with her when she is not using. Does any of this make sense? I am thinking this through as I write. I don't have it figured out. TL [/QUOTE]
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