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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 527950" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>Oh, Nancy, I know excactly where you are coming from. It's funny how things look clearer in the rearview mirror some tomes, isn't it? I remember a time when my daughter was caught sexting with a total stranger - a 28 year old man, no less (she was 17). I was scared to death and I told her so. I told her she didn't have to talk that way - to make those kind of promises - to capture a guy's interest. At one point, I said "Honey, this isn't how you were raised." Now if my mom had said that to me, I would have been very remorseful. My difficult child looked me straight in the eyes and said, as cold as ice, "But I'm choosing not to live as I've been raised."</p><p></p><p>Choosing.</p><p></p><p>In that one sentance and, especially the way in which it was delivered, she told me everything I needed to know about where she was going. Still, I railed against it, fought, cajoled, and prayed she'd "see the light". The truth is, she saw the light very clearly, she simply chose to walk away from it.</p><p></p><p>To accept that is beyond difficult. I'm a work in progress where that is concerned, as I am sure most of the warrior parents here will attest. But to NOT accept it is a to buy a one way ticket on the crazy train.</p><p></p><p>Whether you're dealing with chemical addiction, risky sexual behavior, stealing, whatever ... it is absolutely necessary to accept that the choices are kids are making are their own. Perhaps more important that that (and harder to accept) is to know that they don't think like we do, and are not likely ever to do so.</p><p></p><p>Dash</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 527950, member: 9175"] Oh, Nancy, I know excactly where you are coming from. It's funny how things look clearer in the rearview mirror some tomes, isn't it? I remember a time when my daughter was caught sexting with a total stranger - a 28 year old man, no less (she was 17). I was scared to death and I told her so. I told her she didn't have to talk that way - to make those kind of promises - to capture a guy's interest. At one point, I said "Honey, this isn't how you were raised." Now if my mom had said that to me, I would have been very remorseful. My difficult child looked me straight in the eyes and said, as cold as ice, "But I'm choosing not to live as I've been raised." Choosing. In that one sentance and, especially the way in which it was delivered, she told me everything I needed to know about where she was going. Still, I railed against it, fought, cajoled, and prayed she'd "see the light". The truth is, she saw the light very clearly, she simply chose to walk away from it. To accept that is beyond difficult. I'm a work in progress where that is concerned, as I am sure most of the warrior parents here will attest. But to NOT accept it is a to buy a one way ticket on the crazy train. Whether you're dealing with chemical addiction, risky sexual behavior, stealing, whatever ... it is absolutely necessary to accept that the choices are kids are making are their own. Perhaps more important that that (and harder to accept) is to know that they don't think like we do, and are not likely ever to do so. Dash [/QUOTE]
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