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Substance Abuse
I've said 'No more'
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 713533" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Yes. Just back off. He is abusing you. He calls you the "c" word and you feel guilty? What kind of son calls his mother that? And banging on your dashboard in your car while you drive is a form of violence.</p><p></p><p>Ask yourself if you would cry in guilt if a spouse of yours called ypu that name or got violent for any reason. Your son is abusing you. And you are allowing it. Somehow we not only put up with domestic abuse from our grown adult children because...? They were our babies once and we love them? Dont we need to teach them that they can not intimidate us or anyone to get their way?</p><p></p><p>My guess is your son is using his money not to pay debts but to buy his drug of choice. </p><p></p><p>If this were my kid i would not drive him around. He can walk, take a bike, take a taxi or bus etc. After I made my daughter leave due to drug use she walked evwrywhere, including to and from work in the snow. She quit her drugs too. She was only 19.</p><p></p><p>You dont have to talk to your son each time he calls or texts you. You can limit your contact with him to three calls or texts a week or one. Or none. I sure would not drive him anywhere. Not only is he ungrateful, but he is a dangerous passenger. You need to not be in such a small space with him.</p><p></p><p>I am not sure what a hostel is but he is lucky to have a roof over his head at all. If he wants better, i assume he is able bodied . He can work. People who wont work dont have nice apartments. Thats how life is.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry he treats you so abusively. But this IS abuse. Most adults never abuse their parents. Why should he be able to do it?</p><p></p><p>Good luck and maybe start to care for YOU and hang with people who dont abuse you. Your son should not be able to bully you into compliance. You deserve kindness snd love, not this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 713533, member: 1550"] Yes. Just back off. He is abusing you. He calls you the "c" word and you feel guilty? What kind of son calls his mother that? And banging on your dashboard in your car while you drive is a form of violence. Ask yourself if you would cry in guilt if a spouse of yours called ypu that name or got violent for any reason. Your son is abusing you. And you are allowing it. Somehow we not only put up with domestic abuse from our grown adult children because...? They were our babies once and we love them? Dont we need to teach them that they can not intimidate us or anyone to get their way? My guess is your son is using his money not to pay debts but to buy his drug of choice. If this were my kid i would not drive him around. He can walk, take a bike, take a taxi or bus etc. After I made my daughter leave due to drug use she walked evwrywhere, including to and from work in the snow. She quit her drugs too. She was only 19. You dont have to talk to your son each time he calls or texts you. You can limit your contact with him to three calls or texts a week or one. Or none. I sure would not drive him anywhere. Not only is he ungrateful, but he is a dangerous passenger. You need to not be in such a small space with him. I am not sure what a hostel is but he is lucky to have a roof over his head at all. If he wants better, i assume he is able bodied . He can work. People who wont work dont have nice apartments. Thats how life is. I am sorry he treats you so abusively. But this IS abuse. Most adults never abuse their parents. Why should he be able to do it? Good luck and maybe start to care for YOU and hang with people who dont abuse you. Your son should not be able to bully you into compliance. You deserve kindness snd love, not this. [/QUOTE]
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