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J does not accept no
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 589503" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Malika, you don't want to let J get his way by persistence. Even if that happens seldom, it does make him much more persistent, when you say no. Don't let him drag you to long discussions after you tell him no. Give a short explanation why and that is it. Avert him, don't answer him, tell him that it's not matter of discussion any more or whatever, but don't get involved to long winded arguments with a six-year-old. I know that sounds authoritative, but to balance that, try to learn say no less. Especially right away. When J asks something, don't give an automatic no (and I certainly do know how easy it is to fall to that pattern, when there are about thousand silly requests a day...) But ask him to give you good reasons why you should give permission. That is a point there you discuss with him. And if his arguments are not good enough, you will tell him that unfortunately he didn't make his case well enough this time and his application got rejected (and after that, again, don't get involved in continuing arguing.) Making him work for his requests also cuts down the amount of requests and you don't find yourself wandering around repeating "no", like it was an only word you knew how to say. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, that really is a very good indicator there is something more going on than just 'naughty child' or inconsistent parenting. Your girl really seems to have some spectrumish traits and I hope you can get her evaluated and get some help for her for school (even though she does well at school at the moment, when things get tougher, she may well need some help) and home. Mine never quite made a cut for autism spectrum diagnoses, but I have to say, that one of the best things that helped with him were parenting therapy there we were introduced also to Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) type of parenting. Teaching skills just worked so much better than just consequencing him to death and ourselves to nuthouse.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 589503, member: 14557"] Malika, you don't want to let J get his way by persistence. Even if that happens seldom, it does make him much more persistent, when you say no. Don't let him drag you to long discussions after you tell him no. Give a short explanation why and that is it. Avert him, don't answer him, tell him that it's not matter of discussion any more or whatever, but don't get involved to long winded arguments with a six-year-old. I know that sounds authoritative, but to balance that, try to learn say no less. Especially right away. When J asks something, don't give an automatic no (and I certainly do know how easy it is to fall to that pattern, when there are about thousand silly requests a day...) But ask him to give you good reasons why you should give permission. That is a point there you discuss with him. And if his arguments are not good enough, you will tell him that unfortunately he didn't make his case well enough this time and his application got rejected (and after that, again, don't get involved in continuing arguing.) Making him work for his requests also cuts down the amount of requests and you don't find yourself wandering around repeating "no", like it was an only word you knew how to say. Yes, that really is a very good indicator there is something more going on than just 'naughty child' or inconsistent parenting. Your girl really seems to have some spectrumish traits and I hope you can get her evaluated and get some help for her for school (even though she does well at school at the moment, when things get tougher, she may well need some help) and home. Mine never quite made a cut for autism spectrum diagnoses, but I have to say, that one of the best things that helped with him were parenting therapy there we were introduced also to Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) type of parenting. Teaching skills just worked so much better than just consequencing him to death and ourselves to nuthouse. [/QUOTE]
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