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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 589711" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>First, they have toxic markers there? We have non toxic, washable markers for kids here, who knows if we can believe that but that's what they say.</p><p>Even the teens color themselves, my niece was the go to girl for body art that looked like tattoos. They used ball point pens.</p><p></p><p>Our daycare had body paint days, we used washable paints.....</p><p></p><p>maybe create a list of activities and put it on your schedule and j picks an activity from the list (he can help make the list).</p><p>If he says, i want to go get a toy say, oh, well, is that on the list? No? Ok, which thing on the list do you want? Then it's the list's fault. Even if it cuts the battles down a little, it could be worth it.</p><p></p><p> Having a routine, even if that routine is to follow a schedule that varies in activities but is routine in that it is only done of it is on the schedule....really helps. I used a wipe off board. (then you can change the schedule easily)...These days if we had to use that still, I'd take a phone picture to have it with us, but wouldn't let him hold the phone...teehee....would just show him. These days I send lists to his tablet thru his calendar. </p><p></p><p>I wonder how many of us have to navigate life with the avoidance of the word no. Everyone needs limits but in effort to reduce meltdowns and power struggles, I have to set limits with other tools. </p><p></p><p>Often now, i can say, sure...when i have more money we can do that. Any other implied no is always a plus for our house. </p><p></p><p>Of course, i have also had to do some soul searching over the years to see of i was just automatically saying no......so i do say yes when appropriate.</p><p></p><p>I also often offer choices. That won't work today but I thought we could do x or y......which do you want.?</p><p></p><p>He may still say the first choice but I've found that of i stay calm and can avoid the...if you don't stop we will do nothing!... Consequence....he comes around. But he needs the time to make the mental shift from what he had planned, then time to process the new idea. </p><p></p><p>Finally, I also say yes to things like coloring himself or putting stick on tatoos all over himself by limiting the area. Ok you can do that as long as it is not on your face. Only on your legs, arms or tummy. Compromise can work. I remind him that this is part of trusting him and if he breaks my trust the answer will be no for a long time. Q often will say now..."i better do a good job or you will not trust me, right mom?" Right, Q.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 589711, member: 12886"] First, they have toxic markers there? We have non toxic, washable markers for kids here, who knows if we can believe that but that's what they say. Even the teens color themselves, my niece was the go to girl for body art that looked like tattoos. They used ball point pens. Our daycare had body paint days, we used washable paints..... maybe create a list of activities and put it on your schedule and j picks an activity from the list (he can help make the list). If he says, i want to go get a toy say, oh, well, is that on the list? No? Ok, which thing on the list do you want? Then it's the list's fault. Even if it cuts the battles down a little, it could be worth it. Having a routine, even if that routine is to follow a schedule that varies in activities but is routine in that it is only done of it is on the schedule....really helps. I used a wipe off board. (then you can change the schedule easily)...These days if we had to use that still, I'd take a phone picture to have it with us, but wouldn't let him hold the phone...teehee....would just show him. These days I send lists to his tablet thru his calendar. I wonder how many of us have to navigate life with the avoidance of the word no. Everyone needs limits but in effort to reduce meltdowns and power struggles, I have to set limits with other tools. Often now, i can say, sure...when i have more money we can do that. Any other implied no is always a plus for our house. Of course, i have also had to do some soul searching over the years to see of i was just automatically saying no......so i do say yes when appropriate. I also often offer choices. That won't work today but I thought we could do x or y......which do you want.? He may still say the first choice but I've found that of i stay calm and can avoid the...if you don't stop we will do nothing!... Consequence....he comes around. But he needs the time to make the mental shift from what he had planned, then time to process the new idea. Finally, I also say yes to things like coloring himself or putting stick on tatoos all over himself by limiting the area. Ok you can do that as long as it is not on your face. Only on your legs, arms or tummy. Compromise can work. I remind him that this is part of trusting him and if he breaks my trust the answer will be no for a long time. Q often will say now..."i better do a good job or you will not trust me, right mom?" Right, Q. [/QUOTE]
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