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Jaded Perspective vs Reality
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<blockquote data-quote="Origami" data-source="post: 638889" data-attributes="member: 18099"><p>As a relative "newbie," I can say that I was pretty overwhelmed by some of the advice and comments I received early on. Some of it made me feel like I wasn't doing enough to rid myself of my difficult children and I should have kicked them to the curb immediately. Looking back, I realize that probably wasn't what was meant, but it was how it seemed to me at the time. I think it was too much and too soon for me to absorb the possibilities and how other people had to detach. My experience seems to be less dramatic than some, and I feel like the crisis has died down and we're all living together rather happily with some positive changes being made. </p><p></p><p>I think there are various degrees of "abuse" we experience with our difficult children, and sometimes it's not really abuse but something else. A one-size-fits-all approach obviously isn't appropriate. But there is some validity to the point that some new members might be put off by the intensity of some advice.</p><p></p><p>That being said, if a person steps back and sees that everyone posts from their own experience and perspective, we should be able to take or leave any advice given. I wouldn't want anyone to feel like they had to walk on eggshells to worry about not offending anyone, but it is a valid concern. </p><p></p><p>I love this forum and feel like the members here are the most welcoming and helpful that I've "met." I've tried posting on a couple of others where I felt like the outsider who walked into a party and wasn't privy to the inside jokes. Not welcomed at all. So my heartfelt thanks to everyone and it's great to know I'm not the only one dealing with difficult child issues. The rest of my world in general doesn't understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Origami, post: 638889, member: 18099"] As a relative "newbie," I can say that I was pretty overwhelmed by some of the advice and comments I received early on. Some of it made me feel like I wasn't doing enough to rid myself of my difficult children and I should have kicked them to the curb immediately. Looking back, I realize that probably wasn't what was meant, but it was how it seemed to me at the time. I think it was too much and too soon for me to absorb the possibilities and how other people had to detach. My experience seems to be less dramatic than some, and I feel like the crisis has died down and we're all living together rather happily with some positive changes being made. I think there are various degrees of "abuse" we experience with our difficult children, and sometimes it's not really abuse but something else. A one-size-fits-all approach obviously isn't appropriate. But there is some validity to the point that some new members might be put off by the intensity of some advice. That being said, if a person steps back and sees that everyone posts from their own experience and perspective, we should be able to take or leave any advice given. I wouldn't want anyone to feel like they had to walk on eggshells to worry about not offending anyone, but it is a valid concern. I love this forum and feel like the members here are the most welcoming and helpful that I've "met." I've tried posting on a couple of others where I felt like the outsider who walked into a party and wasn't privy to the inside jokes. Not welcomed at all. So my heartfelt thanks to everyone and it's great to know I'm not the only one dealing with difficult child issues. The rest of my world in general doesn't understand. [/QUOTE]
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