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Jaded Perspective vs Reality
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 638905" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>An interesting thread, it's helpful to hear everyone's thoughts and opinions, we can always learn and be open to change. </p><p></p><p>I believe we all have the same intention to be of help and sometimes perhaps we can be over zealous in our approaches and forget the overwhelming fragility one can feel when our children are in any way at risk. I understand how that might cause someone to pull back and reconsider posting again. And, that would be a terrible injustice to that person, when usually we do come here in our darkest hour. For that I am deeply sorry, I don't imagine anyone here intends that, but unfortunately, with us humans, we do our best, but sometimes it just isn't enough and even with our best intentions, we can cause another pain.</p><p></p><p>For some of us, myself included, the pain that I was in when I first came here was so profound that in coming through that pain, I want to help others avoid it. I can offer my experiences and opinions about how that worked for me and in doing so, I would hope that I don't alienate another or God forbid, bring them even more pain. But, maybe I have. I am sincerely sorry if I have done that. </p><p></p><p>When I look around here and read the stories I am in awe of the courage and strength it takes to get through this path.........and in our deep desire to help another, we can make mistakes, we can push too hard, be too harsh......however I don't believe anyone here would do that purposely, it would be inadvertent and without malice. </p><p></p><p>For anyone who experiences or experienced any uncomfortable feelings as a result of one of us offering advice or support, first of all I am sorry you felt that. I am sorry anyone would feel alienated and more lost because of something one of us said...........and I would ask you to please let us know that, send me a PM if it doesn't feel right to do it in public. Voice your hurt or anger so that we can at least hear it, if not make an attempt to correct it. Don't let it drive you away. We've all been hurt enough. We really do want to be a soft place to land.........that is the most important aspect to remember. So let us know if that isn't your experience.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 638905, member: 13542"] An interesting thread, it's helpful to hear everyone's thoughts and opinions, we can always learn and be open to change. I believe we all have the same intention to be of help and sometimes perhaps we can be over zealous in our approaches and forget the overwhelming fragility one can feel when our children are in any way at risk. I understand how that might cause someone to pull back and reconsider posting again. And, that would be a terrible injustice to that person, when usually we do come here in our darkest hour. For that I am deeply sorry, I don't imagine anyone here intends that, but unfortunately, with us humans, we do our best, but sometimes it just isn't enough and even with our best intentions, we can cause another pain. For some of us, myself included, the pain that I was in when I first came here was so profound that in coming through that pain, I want to help others avoid it. I can offer my experiences and opinions about how that worked for me and in doing so, I would hope that I don't alienate another or God forbid, bring them even more pain. But, maybe I have. I am sincerely sorry if I have done that. When I look around here and read the stories I am in awe of the courage and strength it takes to get through this path.........and in our deep desire to help another, we can make mistakes, we can push too hard, be too harsh......however I don't believe anyone here would do that purposely, it would be inadvertent and without malice. For anyone who experiences or experienced any uncomfortable feelings as a result of one of us offering advice or support, first of all I am sorry you felt that. I am sorry anyone would feel alienated and more lost because of something one of us said...........and I would ask you to please let us know that, send me a PM if it doesn't feel right to do it in public. Voice your hurt or anger so that we can at least hear it, if not make an attempt to correct it. Don't let it drive you away. We've all been hurt enough. We really do want to be a soft place to land.........that is the most important aspect to remember. So let us know if that isn't your experience. [/QUOTE]
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