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Jaded Perspective vs Reality
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 638980" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This is an excellent point, 3, and one I have been very aware of. In some cultures/countries kids live with th eir parents routinely and forever. It's not unusual. Since the majority of us live in the U.S. that is not the case...it is revered to be someone who can stand on one's own two feet and be independent. Others coming from elsewhere or in our country from elsewhere may not understand our need to get our adult children to go out on their own. As close as we may be to our grown kids, it is not the societal norm that generations live together. It was at one time, but it isn't now. And it certainly is not acceptable if a grown child is mooching off the parents. In the U.S., we have to hang onto our money for retirement. Little is offered to us other than our own savings.</p><p></p><p>This also makes us laugh, but in some places, people think all Americans have money except for the extremely poor minorities. I've talked to people from abroad who thought so before they actually met Americans. That is soooooooooooooooo not true.</p><p></p><p>Of course, when safety is a factor, to me it should not matter what culture you live in, but there are cultures that tolerate abuse because...well, men are in charge or you are nobody and nothing without your family's name. It is why some cultures have high international adoption rates. Children born without fathers (illegitimate, if you will) have no status at all. Citizens of t heir own country do not open their arms to illegitimate children from their own country thus...international adoption. I hear it is slowly changing. I hope so.</p><p></p><p>This was the case in the countries we adopted from. It is especially hard for girls born out of wedlock, but no picnic for boys without a name either. And somebody once mentioned that in France it is normal for kids to live at home until they got married, which is fine. Was it you who told us that?</p><p></p><p>But it is alien to us. When stable girls look for boyfriends who are long term relationship material in the U.S., most quality young women flinch if they hear, "Yeah, I'm 25 and still live with the folks. They still pay my bills."</p><p></p><p>Cultural differences can cause conflicts. I can see this forum being difficult to understand if you are not from the United States or Canada. Or if you were not raised here to pick up how our country's mindset basically works...I think I remember the woman you are talking about. That was so very sad.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 638980, member: 1550"] This is an excellent point, 3, and one I have been very aware of. In some cultures/countries kids live with th eir parents routinely and forever. It's not unusual. Since the majority of us live in the U.S. that is not the case...it is revered to be someone who can stand on one's own two feet and be independent. Others coming from elsewhere or in our country from elsewhere may not understand our need to get our adult children to go out on their own. As close as we may be to our grown kids, it is not the societal norm that generations live together. It was at one time, but it isn't now. And it certainly is not acceptable if a grown child is mooching off the parents. In the U.S., we have to hang onto our money for retirement. Little is offered to us other than our own savings. This also makes us laugh, but in some places, people think all Americans have money except for the extremely poor minorities. I've talked to people from abroad who thought so before they actually met Americans. That is soooooooooooooooo not true. Of course, when safety is a factor, to me it should not matter what culture you live in, but there are cultures that tolerate abuse because...well, men are in charge or you are nobody and nothing without your family's name. It is why some cultures have high international adoption rates. Children born without fathers (illegitimate, if you will) have no status at all. Citizens of t heir own country do not open their arms to illegitimate children from their own country thus...international adoption. I hear it is slowly changing. I hope so. This was the case in the countries we adopted from. It is especially hard for girls born out of wedlock, but no picnic for boys without a name either. And somebody once mentioned that in France it is normal for kids to live at home until they got married, which is fine. Was it you who told us that? But it is alien to us. When stable girls look for boyfriends who are long term relationship material in the U.S., most quality young women flinch if they hear, "Yeah, I'm 25 and still live with the folks. They still pay my bills." Cultural differences can cause conflicts. I can see this forum being difficult to understand if you are not from the United States or Canada. Or if you were not raised here to pick up how our country's mindset basically works...I think I remember the woman you are talking about. That was so very sad. [/QUOTE]
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