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Jaded Perspective vs Reality
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<blockquote data-quote="Aimless" data-source="post: 639016" data-attributes="member: 17346"><p>Hi Everyone,</p><p>I would like to just thank everyone here for their support, both spoken and unspoken. I also first came to this site feeling broken, defeated, worn thin, and most of all, ALONE after struggling to be the adoptive mom that our difficult child needed. Like many others here, I had spent years struggling silently, keeping my thoughts and fears to myself so that no one would judge my difficult child, myself or my family for the dysfunction were and are experiencing in our home. I was both full supported by some members and attacked outright by others for being honest with how I felt about my parenting experience. I had to walk away from the group for a while and then just be a read only member until now so that I could regroup and find myself again.</p><p></p><p>I really hope that everyone on this page understands or remembers how they felt before they found this or some other source of support. I needed a safe place to vent or my difficult child. I wandered in here during yet another long sleepless night of praying, worrying, crying, and searching for answers and information about the painful struggling going on in our family. I was scared, angry, hurt, frustrated, isolated, and exhausted, I shared how I felt at the time.</p><p></p><p>I learned quickly that this is a wonderful place to enjoy cerebral conversations about my difficult child, his diagnoses and general behaviors, but that this is not a soft place to share how I am feeling, often in the moment, about how my difficult child's manipulative behaviors, hateful words and drawn out battles are breaking my heart and withering my spirit. I understand that my feelings are temporary and subject to my current thoughts and experiences, not condemnations, constants, or evidence that I don't love my difficult child. I guess a little emotional honesty is too much to ask for, even in a support group such as this.</p><p></p><p>I really appreciate everyone just "being here" for me as it restores my hope and renews me daily.</p><p></p><p>Blessings!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Aimless, post: 639016, member: 17346"] Hi Everyone, I would like to just thank everyone here for their support, both spoken and unspoken. I also first came to this site feeling broken, defeated, worn thin, and most of all, ALONE after struggling to be the adoptive mom that our difficult child needed. Like many others here, I had spent years struggling silently, keeping my thoughts and fears to myself so that no one would judge my difficult child, myself or my family for the dysfunction were and are experiencing in our home. I was both full supported by some members and attacked outright by others for being honest with how I felt about my parenting experience. I had to walk away from the group for a while and then just be a read only member until now so that I could regroup and find myself again. I really hope that everyone on this page understands or remembers how they felt before they found this or some other source of support. I needed a safe place to vent or my difficult child. I wandered in here during yet another long sleepless night of praying, worrying, crying, and searching for answers and information about the painful struggling going on in our family. I was scared, angry, hurt, frustrated, isolated, and exhausted, I shared how I felt at the time. I learned quickly that this is a wonderful place to enjoy cerebral conversations about my difficult child, his diagnoses and general behaviors, but that this is not a soft place to share how I am feeling, often in the moment, about how my difficult child's manipulative behaviors, hateful words and drawn out battles are breaking my heart and withering my spirit. I understand that my feelings are temporary and subject to my current thoughts and experiences, not condemnations, constants, or evidence that I don't love my difficult child. I guess a little emotional honesty is too much to ask for, even in a support group such as this. I really appreciate everyone just "being here" for me as it restores my hope and renews me daily. Blessings! [/QUOTE]
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