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<blockquote data-quote="HereWeGoAgain" data-source="post: 417771" data-attributes="member: 3485"><p>Hi Donna, </p><p> </p><p>I think it is usually a case of unintended consequences. Well-intentioned people over the years have seen these needs going unmet, and devised programs to address them. Often, in my opinion, the people devising the programs don't have a real good understanding of the problem, and end up leaving loopholes which unscrupulous people take advantage of. Unfortunately human nature and ingenuity is such that some people can always find a way to game the system. So then more laws and conditions and programs are devised to plug the holes, and it all gets so complicated and bureaucratic with layers and layers of administrators and regulators and oversight, all of it sucking up more and more money, while the system still gets gamed and the original needs still go unmet. </p><p> </p><p>I think it is the same dilemma for society as it is for us as individual parents - you realize that "helping" doesn't help, yet you have the strongest urge to do something - and in the case of many people with good hearts but no direct experience with difficult child-types, they really believe in the victimhood of so many they want to help. </p><p> </p><p>Still in spite of all the "fraud and abuse" I think there are lots of people with real needs who do benefit. Our difficult child has collected a lot of undeserved and downright enabling benefits, but on the other hand she has gotten treatment that she otherwise wouldn't have, which has a real benefit to society in keeping her off the streets and therefore not involved in drug-dealing, prostitution, shop-lifting and other crime, at least part of the time. </p><p> </p><p>I think with our unique perspective from both sides, it behooves us to advocate for truly effective help for those who really need it, while being able to point out how well-meaning programs and naive "throw more money at it" approaches can fail and make the problems they are meant to solve even worse.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HereWeGoAgain, post: 417771, member: 3485"] Hi Donna, I think it is usually a case of unintended consequences. Well-intentioned people over the years have seen these needs going unmet, and devised programs to address them. Often, in my opinion, the people devising the programs don't have a real good understanding of the problem, and end up leaving loopholes which unscrupulous people take advantage of. Unfortunately human nature and ingenuity is such that some people can always find a way to game the system. So then more laws and conditions and programs are devised to plug the holes, and it all gets so complicated and bureaucratic with layers and layers of administrators and regulators and oversight, all of it sucking up more and more money, while the system still gets gamed and the original needs still go unmet. I think it is the same dilemma for society as it is for us as individual parents - you realize that "helping" doesn't help, yet you have the strongest urge to do something - and in the case of many people with good hearts but no direct experience with difficult child-types, they really believe in the victimhood of so many they want to help. Still in spite of all the "fraud and abuse" I think there are lots of people with real needs who do benefit. Our difficult child has collected a lot of undeserved and downright enabling benefits, but on the other hand she has gotten treatment that she otherwise wouldn't have, which has a real benefit to society in keeping her off the streets and therefore not involved in drug-dealing, prostitution, shop-lifting and other crime, at least part of the time. I think with our unique perspective from both sides, it behooves us to advocate for truly effective help for those who really need it, while being able to point out how well-meaning programs and naive "throw more money at it" approaches can fail and make the problems they are meant to solve even worse. [/QUOTE]
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